Friday, December 30, 2005

Here's some stuff I did/thought about today:
-At work today I drew a smiley face on one thumb and a frowny face on the other, and kept giving my friend Lauren the appropriate thumbs up sign, depending on whether the customer I was waiting on was an asshole or not.
-I really don't like that KD Lang song "Constant Craving". It popped in my head a little while ago, and I don't know how it really goes, just the part that goes "Coooooonstant craaaaaaaving...", and I keep thinking about it. KD Lang sucks anyhow, what's the difference?
-I hope the laundry I left outside to dry doesn't smell like my neighbor's cooking. Eww.
-Pepperidge Farm cookies. I was just thinking about them in general, and laughing at the names.
-It might rain tomorrow, and that would be really nice.
-Most of the jewelry I make to sell, then I end up loving it and then I get all greedy and want to keep it for myself. I need to make stuff that's stupid or ugly, then I won't give a shit if you wanna buy it or not.
-I really wish they still made Smurf cereal. I could really go for a big bowl of Smurfberry Crunch right about now.
-I spent about an hour with a customer today helping her pick out all this pretty stuff to make a necklace out of, and the bitch put it all back and bought a $3 pack of seed beads. What a bitch.
-I really want a new chair for my living room because my cats tore up the one that's in there now, and it looks stupid. I want a big fluffy recliner or something. Then I can sit in it and be like,"Hey, look at me, I'm reclining.". That'd be sweet.
-This blog is lame. what a horrible way to end 2005!
Happy New Year everyone!


Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Originally uploaded by moetricia.
Fudgie wishes you all a very HAPPY NEW YEAR! He promises that if you guys want to come over he will keep your toes warm all year long. Cozy feets in 2006!
Have a safe and happy new year, every1!

Originally uploaded by moetricia.
My cats have a very interesting brother-brother relationship. Fizzie is always sweet and loving to Riley, and follows him around and gives him kisses as often as he can. Riley hisses and swats at him, and just wants to be left alone in general. I feel bad for little Pig, he just wants to play with his brother. Fizzie is so sad when Riley doesn't want to play with him.

Originally uploaded by moetricia.
Christmas was kick ass this year. Here's me, gnawing on a sweater that moms gave me. Purple tastes goooood.

Originally uploaded by moetricia.
Here's Lisa and Greg, and she is totally psyched that I gave her a bunch of makeup from Sephora! Here she is holding Too Faced "The Cupcake" makeup pallette. Cuz my sister is an old-fashioned Cupcake. Sure!
I hope everyone had a great Christmas. And "BE SURE TO DRINK YOU OVALTINE". Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

I just had to post this photo of my friends Mike and Tracy's daughter Ella Grace. Isn't she the cutest thing ever? This picture makes me want to throw up from the cute. Ella + muffin top hat + startled look = adorable.
Tonight I've been baking chocolate chip cookies all night and listening to various muppet music. Muppets are so christmas-y!

Especially Muppet Christmas Carol, which I am majorly wanting to watch lately. I haven't seen it in a few years, and I love it (well, all of it except for the stupid "The Love Is Gone" song. Blah.). I just wish Kermit's voice didn't sound stupid in it. If it didn't, I'd definitely own that movie. Which isn't to say I still don't want it, cuz I do, but Jim Henson's son jsut doesn't cut it for me.
Anyway, I realized my new favorite channel is Turner Classic Movies. I keep putting it on, and every time I do I see something either completely bizzarre, or something cool, like King Kong or A Christmas Story. But my favorite thing about it is that there are no loud commercials. Noo huge announcer voices, or annoying jingles, and no Ty Pennington throwing cell phones at people. Go away, Ty Pennington!! I hate you.
Anyway, it makes me feel calmer, watching TCM. Plus they show old cartoons and shorts between movies, and they're so awesome. That's where I saw that dog football game thing last week that Lisa wrote about. I guess that's another reason I keep going back to TCM, I'm hoping that they'll show that Dog Football thing again, and I can tape it. It's just too awesome to describe.

It's kinda like this, only better.
Anyway, since I probably won't post before then, I hope everyone who reads this has a Merry Christmas! (And also a Happy Chanukkah, I don't wanna descriminate!) I hope everyone gets what they want, and everyone has someone to spend the holidays with. 'Cuz "even a plant with no uncle or aunt shouldn't spend Christmas day by himself..." . Sorry, that was a little Elmo & Patsy for you. Also, this is what they look like, apparently. Or at least circa 1988.

Now if you see them on the street you can kick their asses for "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer". Jeez.
Merry Christmas, bitches!
Love, me.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Awwwwwww. Hermie the turtle just got some braces!

The poor little guy's jaw was growing in the wrong direction, so they got an orthodontist to fix 'im up. They even gave him Christmas colors, so the other turtles won't pick on him so bad at turtle school. Unless he happens to be jewish, then that's just plain mean. I bet Hermie wishes they gave him clear braces, like mine were. He probably feels like such a geek, now he'll NEVER come out of his shell! Ba-dum-bum!!!(Insert laugh track here.)

"American beauty Crystal Rawlins is desperate for a job and will do anything to become the nanny to Sheik Fariq Hassan's children. She is ecstatic when she secures the dream job and finds herself working in the luxurious palace in exotic El Zafir. And the little white lie she tells about her true physical appearance seems like a very small detail...but is it?

Fariq has been burned by a beautiful woman before and he does not trust them. Fortunately, the nanny he hires is far from stunning. She's positively mousy. But that doesn't prevent him from being captivated by her fiery spirit...and her passionate kisses. And she obviously shares his attraction, so why does she keep pulling away from him? And what secrets was she hiding beneath that bulky clothing and behind those glasses?"

I hope Santa doesn't bring me this book for Christmas. Or anything from the "Desert Brides" Collection, for that matter.
Let's see what an actual reader has to say....

"Sheik(h) Fariq Ibn What's-His-Name is a single father who hires Crystal What's-Her-Name as a nanny for his two small children. Since his ex-wife once done him wrong, Fariq has agreed with his father's plan to hire a very plain woman for the job. But Crystal, who desperately needs the job to help her ailing mother, is a home-town beauty queen. So she dons a disguise and gets the job. But Fariq falls for her inner beauty, even though he has the expected arrogant-male temper tantrum when he figures out her scheme . . .boring! Not a single noteworthy surprise here.
Except that both of Fariq's brothers are more interesting than he is.
For a better "in disguise" romance, see Day Leclaire's 'Who's Holding the Baby?'"

Just for the record, who IS holding the baby???

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Rest easy, citizens. Officer Trish is on the job.

Today at work I caught a shoplifter!!! Yeah, this lady totally put a bunch of crap in her bag, and I called her on it. She tried to act like,"Oh, I must have put this in my bag by mistake...", but she was totally stealing. I was like, "Bitch! Don't gimme none a dat trifle-ass bullshit!". Anyway, my bosses were so pleased with me they gave me a $100 bonus on the spot, as thanks for paying such close attention. I told them they really didn't have to, since the stuff the lady was stealing was only about $50, but they gave me the bonus anyway. I love my job.
The ironic thing is, this happens the day after I inadvertantly stole something from Ikea, a $2.99 pack of plastic jewels. They were in the bottom of my cart, and I didn't see them when I was putting my stuff up on the conveyer belt thing. Then when we got outside and we took our bags out of the cart I saw them. I felt guilty about it, but I figured to go back in for $2.99 when they were closing, it just wasn't worth it. But maybe today's events were to teach me a lesson! Thanks universe, lesson learned, and pockets lined.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Right now I'm listening to "For The Longest Time", Billy Joel. I haven't heard this song in such a long time, I forgot how much I love it. I mean, I haven't heard it....for the longest time! Gay!
I've been trying to think of creative presents to make for people for christmas, and all I keep coming up with is jewelry. How predictible is that? Hi, I work in a bead store, I have a jewelry website, here's some more jewelry from me. P.s., plan on getting the same damn thing from me every christmas and/or birthday. I did come up with something totally different for my sister, but seeing as how she reads this blog, I can't very well write what it is, but I hope it turns out how I see it in my head. If not, it's gonna suck so bad. I'll definitely have to throw it away.
Guys are particularly hard to make stuff for. I guess they just don't like the glitter and sparkle like us bitches do. I did make a necklace for my friend Buck for his b-day, it was a plain black letter cord, with sterling silver alphabet beads spelling out the word fuck. It didn't fit him though. Anyway, I sort of blew my wad on that one, so to speak, so now I got nuthin'.
Anyway, I still got time until christmas, right? Right. Now here's a picture of a boy preparing for his career.

Tuck in that shirt, David. No one wants to buy a value meal from a sloppy team member!
OH! One last thing, my cat has a blog. Fizzie wanted to share his thoughts with the world, so good luck trying to read it.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Ah yes. The start of December. There are many things I love about this season, but most beloved of all is "25 Days Of Christmas" on ABC Family Channel. Not only am I super excited for the marathon of animated classics this saturday, but I can't wait for the 300 times they're gonna show Borrowed Hearts. Wait---what's this? They're only showing it once?? Wha?? Once is not enough, you pigs!!
Well, at least this makes me feel better:

Thanks Mariah. You and your crazy leotards and high-heel sneakers always cheer me up, with your sandy blonde hair and your matching skin. P.S., I think that cheerleader behind you has no pupils. Look out, girl! Oh DAMN!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Oh my god, I almost missed Thank God I'm Not In High School Anymore day! Whew, I'm getting these in just under the wire. I decided to post only dance pictures for now, since I thought it would be fun to have another day similar to this, where we can post other humiliating pictures from just a regular teen-aged day.
So here we go.

I call this one Western Harlet. Here I am, the very picture of elegance, straight out of a saloon in 1856. This was for my boyfriend Shecky's junior prom. You can see more of him here, coming soon to a theater near you. He plays Matt, apparently.
Anywhoo, I loved my dress, it's a Bestey Johnson. I wanted to look like a ballerina from a Degas painting, but instead I ended up an old west mess. i wore this dress a few years later to my friend Rob's prom, to much better results. But no sense in posting those. Now on to the next one...

Homecoming 1994. See the massively disappointed look on my face? Yeah, I wasn't so thrilled on this occasion. I was mad that my date Adam didn't dress up, and sad that Jen (far left, in the cape. Yay Jen! So goth.) got stood up by her date. OK, he DID call to say he couldn't make it, but still. Weak. Fucking weak.
But I was wearing a sparkly black dress that I borrowed from Lisa, and a pair of character shoes that I probably stole from Meadow Theater. Nice necklace too. The 90's were stylish times.

Now this is what I'm talking about! This is my senior prom picture, and boy is it telling. Here's me and Paul, my high school boyfriend, and we're completely stoned. Sorry mom, it's true. Come on, it's written all over our faces! We look retarded. I wore white stripper shoes with my sequined red dress (which I still love, since I was the only one not in pastel, and wearing something short. Hey Lisa did too! Maybe it's an Armsweat sisters thing. We like to stand out in the crowd!)
So moments before this picture, I broke the rose off of the stem on Paul's butteniere, and then stabbed myself multiple times with the straight pins to try to make the thing adhere to his lapel, to no avail. He pretty much just stood there smiling pretty much just like he is in this picture. I just wanted to sit back down and finish the lovely meal that had just been served to us when we got called for our picture. I had the munchies. I probably stank like pot smoke and rotisserie chicken in this picture.
So there we go! Who's up for either round 2, OR a new theme day??

Monday, November 21, 2005

Here's what I think.
Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire: changed a lot of the story, didn't like Moody's eye, Moaning Myrtle is a whore, but overall a kick-ass movie.
Walk the Line: Joaquin Phoenix needs to change his name back to Leif. What's he trying to hide? Want to see this one, since The Cash kicked ass, but Reese Witherspoon needs to have her chin shortened. Her-"Baby, baby, baby!" Me-"Have a doctor fix your face."
Zathura: I didn't like Jumanji the first time I saw it.
Rent: No no no. The music to this one makes me feel ill. Especially that "Five Million twenty five thousand six hundred minutes..." crap. See? I don't even know the songs, but I've seen the damn AIDS-infested commercial so many times I know some of the damn words. Jeez. Shut up you diseased hipsters, you scare me.
Chicken Little: I want to see it, kinda. But I think I'll wait till it's on DVD or something. No movie is worth being in a crowded theater at a kids movie at christmas time.
Derailed: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.....Jennifer Aniston......Zzzzzzzz.......Why do people love Clive Owen so much?......Zzzzzzzzzzzz....Aniston...........Zzzzzzz.....Roll Credits.
Get Rich or Die Tryin: I can't understand one word that comes out of this guy's mouth. Plus I didn't like 8 Mile the first time I saw it.
Aeon Flux: Even the previews for this one look boring to me. Keep off the grass!! Ha ha! *fart*
Yours, Mine and Ours: I didn't like Cheaper by the Dozen the first time I saw it. No wait, I didn't see it, but I STILL know I didn't like it.
Cheaper by the Dozen 2: See above. Also, can someone in Hollywood please tell the others to stop making these movies about stupid dads who never heard of condoms and slutty moms who can't keep their legs closed? Enough already.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

OK Lisa, I'll play your game!
Let's see what Tricia needs.....
1.Tricia needs affection, stability and devotion, not charm and empty words. Tricia needs help, needs therapy, not the electric chair. This one is from a site named Princsstrish's Palace. 20 bucks says this girl reads Cathy cartoons and looooooves chocolate!
2.Tricia needs constant assistance to meet her personal care needs like dressing,toileting, bathing and eating. This one is true. I also wet the bed alot. ALOT. I guess my "toileting" needs work.
3.Tricia needs to apoligies for being mean to us. Okay, I'm sorry whoever you are. Now open a dictionary you stupid fucks.
4.tricia needs a nappie, tricia needs a nappie. This one's my favorite!
5.Know the campaign needs the money, but Tricia needs some clothes. Anyone want to
start "Togs for Tricia"?
Yeah, that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!!
6.Confidently Tricia conquers the dog walk. Descending the A-frame, Tricia needs to
hit the contact zone. After exiting the tunnel, Tricia sails over a bar jump.
All my life I've dreamed of sailing over a bar jump! I'm glad that I apparently accomplished this after exiting the tunnel. Also, I think I am a dog in this one. Cooool.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

I took the 80's character quiz today.
Apple Jack
You are Apple Jack from My Little Ponies! You love
fantasy and like to get lost in totally
unrealistic adventures. In the end, though,
you're all about goodness and truth and
partying at the Dream Castle with loads of good
(multicolored) friends.

Which Forgotten 80s Cartoon Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I was kinda of hoping for Lemon Meringue from "Strawberry Shortcake", b/c if you fart on a meringue, well it absorbs the scent. This is very funny to me.

Friday, November 11, 2005

NO!! Arrested Development has been cancelled. They announced it this morning, and it's definite.
I'm so sad!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

I really hate TV and whoever is in charge of it. I just read that Fox has temporarily cancelled Arrested Development during the weeks around sweeps week, and will be replacing it with reruns of Prison Break. This makes no fucking sense to me. It not only means that the only show I really look forward to anymore will be delayed yet again (like it has been for most of the season so far), but it also means that Fox cut down the number of episodes they are going to film. So now instead of a full 22-episode season, it'll be more like a 12-14 episode season. That fucking sucks!!! Not to mention that anyone who is trying to support the show and watch it won't know when the hell it's on, and will forget about it and go back to watching some fucking reality show. I usually don't care enough about tv to be this mad, but this is Arrested Development!!
BTW, PRISON BREAK??? How many episodes can they actually HAVE a prison break? Seems like it'll get kinda old.

"Curses!! Foiled again!! That is....until next week....."
Oh hell. At least I'll be able to catch up on whatever those clever and not-at-all aging ladies on Wisteria Lane are up to, and maybe if I'm lucky I can see Dr. 90210 do yet another breast implant operation to some pathetic slut with low self-esteem! YAY!

"Hey, when I hold my head like this, you almost can't see that I've had tons of Botox and cheek/chin implants!! Tee-Hee!! I'm so youthful!"

So..............anyone know of any good books I can read??

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Kane and I just went to the mall to grab some dinner and pick up a gift certificate for my boss's birthday. On the way home, we drove through a busy section of downtown Scottsdale with the windows down, blasting the theme from Gremlins. We laughed and laughed and laughed. We passed a rather unhappy looking gang of thugs, who I hope after we drove past had this exchange:
"Shit nigga, did y'all just hear the music from Gremlins comin' outta dat car?"
"Fuck yoseff, Bitch."

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Yay Wednesday night! Tomorrow I have the day off, so tonight I'm gonna party like it's.........Wednesday night!
I came dangerously close to adopting a dog tonight that looked like this:

Except she wasn't wearing a cut-up old sock. Then I put my foot down, and said I'd never get a dog that was from a puppy store in a mall, and that's FINAL. Plus, she was a lot of money. I won't say how much, but I started trying to figure out how much room I might have on each of my credit cards to buy her. I can't bear the thought of my little could've-been-baby sleeping in a glass window in that horrible pet store. She needs love and kisses, and a really fat orange cat named Fizzie to bond with. But I must be patient, the right dog will come along, and she'll be from a shelter and really, really need a loving home and a fat orange cat named Fizzie to bond with. In the meantime, Fizz will have to wait too.

I also want to say congratulations to Lisa, for getting a kick ass start on her book! I keep forgetting the name of the NanoMoBook thing she's doing, but dammit, she's off to a great start! Keep up the good work my sister, and one day maybe Hilary Swank will star in the movie version. Or maybe Charlize Theron, since she's the new Oscar-buzz girl. We should only be so lucky to have Charlize! She's from South Africa, you know.
Pip, pip! Cheerio!

*for British eyes onlyyyyyyy!*

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Here's my costume. I was Little Red Riding Hood Who Kicked The Wolf's Ass With Her Nunchucks. You can't see it in the picture but I'm wearing my shark's tooth (which I am pretending is a wolf's tooth) around my neck.
We had so much fun at Greg's party, but I had quite the hangover this morning. Too much beer for Little Red. Lisa's costume looked awesome, and as soon as I load some pictures onto my computer I'll post some. She was the lady from "The Birds". And Greg made a kick ass chainsaw hand, and was Ash from "Evil Dead". Good times! Me on the other hand, I remember at one point putting my cup of beer in my basket, and taking swigs out of it. It probably looked funny, but I don't think anyone saw it. Other than that, I did some tap dancing and got into a heated Harry Potter discussion and Kane ate a Nestle Crunch Pumpkin witht the foil still on it. Ah, Halloween!
Have a great Halloween everybody!!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Last night before bed I was reading the news on I happened to read about this, and ended up having this big, involved dream where I had to spread the word that C.C. Deville was going to jail, and had to tell people all over the place about him being arrested. I ended up at a water park somewhere that the people didn't speak english, and I was trying to explain who Poison was, and why CC was so important to America's future. There were also puppies on rafts going down the water slide. Then I woke up.
I think this dream must mean that I will become rich, but will lose all of my teeth.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

In my quest for a halloween costume, I found this.

Yeah, that's a guy fucking a sheep. We as americans have hit a new low. Not only is he committing beastiality, but he also has the flap on the back of his long johns unbuttoned so his big white ass is comically sticking out.
This is the kind of costume that ruins the party.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I'm cleanin' house, bitches!
Tonight I went though my closet and got rid of 16 pairs of shoes, and 4 pairs of slippers. Earlier tonight I thought to myself,"Self, you have 4 pairs of plain black boots, and NONE of them fit you right or are comfortable. What the hell is your problem??". After giving myself a bloody nose and later apologizing to myself in the mirror, I decided to unload some of my extras. I don't need 100 pairs of shoes. No one does(unless they have 200 feet of course). Thursday I will drive them over to the salvation army, where they will no doubt provide salvation to all the needy stylish people out there.
I need to do this with my jeans too, because I keep buying more and more pairs all the time, and still none of them fit exactly right except for my one pair from American Eagle. They're the only pair I ever like to wear, but I can't only have one pair of jeans! I'd get kicked out of the girl club for sure! But I think I might do the tough love thing and give away exactly half of my jeans. Most of them I can't fit into anymore anyway, but it's somehow painful to admit that to yourself, and also admit that you've given up hope that they WILL fit again.
So that's what's going on with me. Let's see what's happening in your neck of the woods.....

Sunday, October 16, 2005

One last thought before I sign off for the night.
Kane and I saw The Legend of Zorro the other night at a free screening. Not to ruin anything for you guys, but they should have called this movie "Zorro Gets Divorced and Hilarity Ensues!". This movie is a mix of the first Zorro movie and Looney Tunes and some other movie about divorces in the early 1800's. Also, were there divorces in the 1800's? I don't know about that....

"Shh! Don't tell anyone that divorces were not common practice in this time period, por favor! Sí!"
Anyway, see it at your own risk, that's all.
This just makes me sad. Can't people just lighten up for a minute and celebrate a day dedicated to fun and candy and pumpkins? People are too fucking sensitive now. One of the great things about Halloween is that it's for everybody- christians, jews, muslims, whoever. Anyone can put on a cheap plastic mask or some vampire fangs and be part of the holiday. This article is basically saying that Halloween is insensitive because it DOES exclude people. What people?? The people who believe in evil vampires? Are there any part-werewolf children in our schools who go home and cry to their were-moms about the unfair depiction of their species? Grow up. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. Sad to think that it will probably all be gone completely one day.
Okay, angry blog over.
I don't have much time tonight, but I am going to post some of the pictures from Robert and Brianna's awesome wedding soon! We had tons o'fun, had a little bit much to drink, and on the drive home ended up making up jokes about transsexuals(?). Like "Tranny X-ing" and "Shhhh! Be Vewwy Vewwy quiet! I'm huntin' Twanny!". I don't know, it all made sense at the time.
Alright bitches. Trish OUT!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005


And they're a lot less scary than we originally thought.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Today my dad arrived in AZ for a visit. So far it's been really fun, and we've already came up with two new ice cream flavors for Cold Stone Creamery: "Venerial Drip" and "Butterscotch Testicle Crunch". Both would ideally be available with your choice of Chunky or Runny Hot Fudge.
My dad is awesome. This weekend we're taking him to Sedona and the Grand Canyon. More ice cream flavors to be announced shortly after our return.
And now....................Ken. By Request Only.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Alright damn it, I'm sick of being sick. Since Friday night I have had the worst cold/sinus infection/hacking cough ever. I had to miss work for the first time ever, and I really need the moneys since my dad is coming to visit next week, and I gots no moneys. Oh well. I just hope I get better right now, because there's a lot going on.
For starters, I'm going to Brianna's bachelorette party on Saturday night, and it's a sleep-over, so i don't want to be coughing up phlegm all over the frigging place.
Then on Thursday my dad and his wife arrive, and I have no idea what we'll all do for the week while they're here. I mean, we'll go out to dinner and all that, but as far as road trips go, I got nothin. Me and Lisa can always take dad on a tour of Ikea I guess. He can finally get that Aardvlicken-qoken armchair he's always wanted. I also really need to get my apartment clean. It's been looking less than clean since I've been sick. Kane has been helping out of course, but he's got so much going on right now too. I want my nice apartment to look good when Dad comes over. I hope he doesn't break my toilet seat again this time though. Last time I thought he was joking, until he carried it out of the bathroom in two pieces.
Speaking of toilet seats, Kane and I saw "Eurotrip" tonight. Wow.
Oh, my ex is in a Wendy's commmercial. Yeah, he stuffs a dollar bill in his mouth for some reason. I only saw it once, and I was too busy saying "What the fuck?" to understand what was going on in it. Some of you Jersey-ites might know him as "Shecky". Well, at least the Jersey-ites who went to Improv Jam.
Anyway, that's about all that's going on with me. I am just hoping that this stupid cold or whatever it is that I have clears up really quick, because I'm sick of coughing until my chest feels like it's gonna cave in. I can't wait to have health insurance next month, so I can NEVER need it.
Also, I wish "Will & Grace" wasn't on my tv right now. What the fuck, who cares about "Will & Grace"? I'm gonna go change it to Food Network. Maybe "The Secret Life of..." is on, and I can make fun of that retarded host. That guy sucks.


Thursday, September 22, 2005

Soooo awesome.
Click on the little tv icon to se the commercial, if you haven't had the (mis)fortune of seeing it on tv already. You haven't lived until you've seen K-Fed (sans 5 o'clock shadow, you might not recognize him!)prancing through the magical forest after a sweaty and glittery Britney. I bet this perfume smells like dirty panties.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

NINE INCH NAILS tomorrow night!


Friday, September 16, 2005

Since I have been posting mainly pictures for the past few weeks, I decided those of you who read this blog might like to actually, you know, READ. So I'm making a list of things about myself, stuff that some of you may know, and some of you may not know. Here goes.
1. I watch The Golden Girls every night before bed. Every goddamn night. I've seen every episode like 100 times, and it's not like an obsessive thing, it's completely a comfort thing. Like being at grandma's house or something. Sometimes though I turn off the tv, for Kane's sake. I don't want him to start to grow a vagina just because I must watch GG.
2. When I was about 9, my friend Amy and I caught a little turtle once by Compton's Creek and put him in a tupperware bowl and gave him some leaves and some black pepper(?) to eat. He was our pet for only 1 day though, because he died.
3. I once hid from the cops by rolling underneath my own car and covering myself with leaves!
4. Sometimes I think about quitting everything and becoming a chef.
5. I would love to name my future children Maggie or Jack. But since Kane's last name is Black, my kid's name would be Jack Black, and that's just stupid.
6. At least once every day I think about the gap in my front teeth, and that if it gets any bigger, I'll look like Madonna during her ghetto faze. This upsets me.
7. One time Lisa and I made this younger girl in our neighborhood go into the woods in the middle of a thunder and lightning storm to "scare away the killer woodchucks". We made up this whole story about how the whole town was doomed, and she was the only one who could save us by going into the woods and screaming "Go AWAY!" 3 times during a lightning storm. She was so scared, and cried alot. She did it though, and you know what? No killer woodchucks ever invaded Belford, New Jersey. That little girl saved our whole town.
8. When I tell people I used to work at Leslie Pools, I usually don't tell them how most of the time me and my friends just got stoned, and cooked up some burgers (and the occasional steak) on a portable grill we set up out back, then took turns taking naps on some solar covers. Best summer job ever.
9. The first time I drove, I very nearly crashed my friend Jen's car into a building.
10. After I got my license, I crashed my car into a building.
11. Only a few people will ever hear my Shirley Temple impression. My real one, that is. Those who have heard it, I'll do it for you, but pleeeeeease don't tell anyone about it.
12. I used to have crushes on the following actors: Christian Bale(well, maybe a little bit still), Christian Slater, Dicrapio, Seth Green, Heath Ledger, James Marsters (as SPIKE, Lengli!!), Johnny Depp(no kidding.), John Corbett, and...........gulp.........Jeff Goldblum. Shut up, I was in 7th grade for god's sake!! I didn't know!!!!
13. I can communicate with my cat Fizzie by just using facial expressions. I'm also teaching him how to fetch. Just like I taught my other cat Riley, although he doesn't do it as much anymore. He's too cool for that sort of thing now, I guess.
14. I'm thinking about going back and erasing #12!
15. When I first lived alone, I had a pile of dirty laundry in the closet of my old apartment that I left for so long, that there was actually some sort of larvae-looking thing growing inside of a set of sheets. I threw them away.
16. One time I couldn't sleep so I tried to tap dance on a sheet of glass from a broken poster frame in the middle of the night (I thought it would tire me out!!) and smashed it. I wore my tap shoes to walk the glass out to the dumpster at like 3 in the morning, and probably woke up everyone in the apartment complex in the process. I then fell asleep on the foot of my bed, fully dressed, with my hands a little bloodied from the broken glass and still wearing the tap shoes.
17. I get the song "Holy Diver" by Dio stuck in my head at least once or twice a week. This has been going on for like 2 months!
18. I can't think of anything else to write.

Monday, September 12, 2005

As you might have read on Lisa's blog, we decided to not let the terrorists win THIS 9-11 by shopping at a crappy outlet mall. Sure we may have fought a few "battles", like when my garlic knot from the pizza place in the food court was too cold to eat, or when we had to endure the stench of urine and melting plastic wafting through Claire's Boutique. Or the biggest struggle of all, when Lisa's beloved Rav-4 broke down and left us stranded in Anthem, the whitest town in America, where we were witness to both a drug deal AND many small groups of akward white teenage boys!
But nothing could stop our personal war on Terrorism. We showed those fucking terrorists who's BOSS!
Check this out:

I am the William Wallace of the GAP Outlet!!!!! What's the matter, Osama?? Do the smiling faces on these little socks FRIGHTEN you?!

AMERICA:1, TERRORISTS: 0!!!!!!!! Lisa buys armloads of little kids' jeans in protest!!

All in all, we fought hard, and we came to win, and I think we accomplished that.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

This one's for you, BuckNasty.

"So there you are, Tubby. You look like a bucket of lard on a bad day. Baskin Robbins called, they said they're down to only 5 flavors. You're swelling up as I talk to you. Look at you. Hello Ice Cream! Having a good time? Running around??
Heh he he he! What are you laughing at? Cuz I called your friend a fat pig?"
"No, I was laughing about earlier, when you were talking to his belly."

If any of you haven't seen Dirty Work, do yourself a favor and see the film that Mother Theresa herself called "fucking rad".
Fizzie played one of the tigers in Gladiator, but his scene ended up deleted from the final film. "That's showbusiness!" says Fizz (Or "Meeeeeeeeooowwww Mrrrrrrrph")

Here's Riley, taking his girlfriend Tammy to the prom. She would later break his heart. This is what lead him to becoming an angry goth, who writes bad poetry and lashes out at happy passersby. So tragic.

*Last night Kane and I went to Lisa's and watched Evil Dead 2 and drank some good cheap champagne. I made these when I got home. They make no goddamn sense.

Monday, September 05, 2005

I finally finished Robert and Brianna's wedding cake topper!

It's made of fimo clay, lollipop sticks and tulle. And lots of glue. Their wedding is coming up next month, so it's about time I finished it.
Anyway, her head's a little big, and her arms kinda got fucked up, but overall I'm pretty proud of it.
So we ended up doing nothing over the big 3-day weekend. I got so sick on Sunday, and we were supposed to have people over to watch "Evil Dead 2" and "Army of Darkness" that night, but I had to cancel due to impending puki-ness. I think it was either the french toast I made for breakfast, or the poison Kane put in my OJ. One of those two things, probably.
Now it's 11:42, and I should be sleeping since I have to go back to work tomorrow, but here I am in front of the computer. I'm thinking about my job, and how cool it is to finally be doing something I love so much. I haven't really written about it, but I meant to. I know I wrote about starting my new job as a production manager for another company, but I had to quit that job after only 1 week. The amount of work and responsibility that they were putting on me were just not worth the money they were paying me. I also only had 2 weeks to learn the position in and out, and I'd only done maybe 10% of the stuff I needed to do before, so everything was brand new and difficult. I was coming home upset just about every day, completely stressed out and weepy. On top of that, the girl who was training me kept making comments like,"Well, if this isn't something you want to do, we need to know now so we can fill your position.", "We still have all the resumes on file, so if you think you can't handle the position, let us know...", and then the final straw, on Friday afternoon she says,"Well see you on Monday, if you decide to come back, that is!". Now I can take a lot of things, but when I am constantly feeling like they have no confidence in me or my professionalism, I really don't appreciate it. As luck would have it, Monday morning rolled around, and I got a call that the office would be closed for the day, since the air conditioner was busted. So I took the opportunity to go to the bead store and see if they were still hiring, and I had an interview that day, and now I'm working full time at a job I love. It's retail, and I'm on my feet all day, but it's so fun! It's also kind of refreshing to be on my feet, since I was stuck behind a desk for five years, and I think my ass got bigger. Plus the money is better than I thought, and I get benefits. I can honestly say I have zero regrets about quitting that other job. Sure I'd be making more money, but I'd be a miserable person for it.
So that's basically what happened. Sorry it's taken me a while to write about it, but I've been busy so BACK OFF!
Okay, I'm going to bed now. Oh, and I hope you like my new background!! Grrrrr-Argghh!

Friday, August 26, 2005

I've been called out! Lisa has tagged me. OK, since it's been a long time since I updated, I will accept this challenge.
Here we go:
7 Things I Would Never Do
1. Watch any episode of Sex & The City. Ever. And that's a fucking promise.

Quick! Which one escaped from the Central Park Zoo?? If you said the shaggy lion in the front, you are correct.
2. Wear short shorts with anything written on the ass, like "HOTTIE", "JUICY" or "I'M UNDERAGE". This also goes for sweatpants. Or loungepants.
3. Kiss a rodeo clown (thanks, Dave Letterman!)

4. Write a fan letter to Criss Angel a.k.a. MINDFREAK

5. Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down! Never gonna run around and....desert you!
6. Be a teen mom. I'm 26! My dream of going to school with my own child will never be realized.

7. Give someone a copy of 1991 classic "Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead" on DVD.

Don't EVEN make me post a picture of Keith Coogan in the famous "The dishes are done, man!" scene. You don't need to see that. No one does.
Now, who shall I tag??! MWAHHH-HA_HA_HA!
Kane, Buck, Robert, Lani, Diana and Matt.
See you in hell, bitches. *mindfreak!*

Thursday, August 18, 2005

My friend Vin is so badass. Check out his sweet bike, and his sweet pet shark. He named him Sharkie Shark, since he got him in the early 90's. He also had "the Funky Bunch", but Sharkie ate them all. They were more "Delicious" than "Funky".
Anyway, if you try to fuck with Vin, be warned. Your body will never be found!
Neighborhood kids don't even walk past Vinnie's house anymore. They run for their lives, not only from Sharkie, but also because Vin's bike is so fucking sweet that it'll melt the eyes right out of their heads!
Well, I decided it's time for a whole new look for my blog. It deserved a makeover. As do I. I think I'll either get my nails done, OR get a face tattoo. I still haven't decided! A woman's work is never done, you know! Too many cooks spoil the soup! One man's trash is another man's treasure! Although they look similar, aspirin and candy are not the same! Borrowing grandpa's boots will NOT make you live longer! Wait....what was I talking about?

I think the merriest Christmas any smoker can have is finding a cure for lung cancer. That, and maybe a new turtleneck sweater. To protect their scratchy smoker-throat.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Originally uploaded by moetricia.
And now, I interrupt your regularly scheduled blog with photos of Kane wearing my new turquoise necklace and spinning around.
This is what happens at 1:30am after guests go home and we get overly tired.

Originally uploaded by moetricia.
8:02pm: Fizzie discovers Kane's cells phone, and tries to make some calls. He tries to order chinese food, and his mouth waters at the very thought. Mmmmm....

Originally uploaded by moetricia.
8:04pm: After realizing that he doesn't know any phone numbers, Fizzie tries to devour Kane's cell phone. He is not successful.

Originally uploaded by moetricia.
8:09pm: Fizzie gives up on cell phone, moves instead to empty coke bottle. Kane tries to renew his interest in his cell phone, but with no luck.

Friday, August 12, 2005

I took the movie test, and even though I've never seen this movie, I guess it's pretty cool.

***Also, hi everybody!! I'm back on the internet after a long hiatus thanks to Cox Communications, those fucks. Anyway, I'll put up a better blog entry soon, I swears it to ya!!