Thursday, May 27, 2004

Not that this is of any importance, but I just had to share an image I saw this evening. I was leaving the bathroom at work, and some lady holding a small child came rushing towards me. "Hold the door!!! WAIT! DON'T CLOSE THE DOOR!!". I smiled and held the door for her, and as she got closer, I noticed what looked like a smeared brown handprint on the little girl's pink t-shirt. Wait, what's that on her shirt?? I had to do a double take. That better not have been shit. I'm pretty sure that was human excrement. If it was, I'm glad I held my breath when she rushed past. SHIT!

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

I just took the "Which Johnny Depp Character Are You?" quiz from Kane's blog, and I'm:
"You Are Sam From "Benny & Joon."

You are very talented at physical comedy. People are in awe of your abilities. However, you have many quirks which can either win people over or completely annoy them. But you're a sweetheart through and through, and it's hard not to love you."

I like that. Benny & Joon is a great movie. I'm glad I wasn't "Whats-his-name" from The Astronaut's Wife. That'd be wierd. "You are married to Charlize Theron, and you have two alien children you never met because you are dead. You are also partial to grapefruit and bomber jackets."
I had a new baby delivered yesterday. It's a stacked washer/dryer combo, a full laundry center. I named her Wendy. Wendy washed me lots of clothes yesterday. Being able to wash clothes in your apartment fucking rules. I would let my stuff pile up for like 3 weeks (sometimes longer) and then try to carry all of that shit at once, plus a big bottle of detergent, and a ton of quarters, and haul this crap through my entire apartment complex. But those days are over, my friends. I shall never have to buy new underwear instead of washing my old ones again!!!

Friday, May 21, 2004

Here's a picture that I made in honor of the end of "Angel". I made it a few days ago for Kane and Lisa to commemorate the occasion, but I think I should share it with y'all. Posting pictures is FUN!!! I plan to get very carried away with this.

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Just testing out Blogger's new photo posting feature. If this works, you should see Gene, holding his new friend, a can of vegetables, right before he humps the fridge. Be proud of who you are.
Last night was the big finale of Angel. It was eeeehhhh. I mean I liked it, but when "Buffy" ended I was all crying and broken up. With Angel, I was just glad Spike and Ilyria survived (at least until the end). I really love Joss Whedon, but I just think David Boreanaz ruins everything. Maybe that's unfair, but he's definitely not who I would have originally chosen to play Angel, that's all I'm sayin. And I know, willing suspension of belief, but if all Angel drinks is blood, how did he get so fat? That man is one tubby mutha. James Marsters (Spike) has managed to maintain some consistancy in his looks since he started on Buffy way back, he stays very thin, bleaches his hair all the time, stays out of the sun, but old Davey doesn't seem to have that kind of a commitment. Even when he wasn't sort of a fatty, he still looked too much like a football player to be believable as a centuries-old vampire lurking in the shadows. And has his hairline been creeping down towards his eyebrows a little more with each passing year, or is it just me? So anyway, to the cast of Angel, well done. To David Boreanaz, eehhhhhhhh.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Today I am really in the mood for Elio's frozen pizza. I woke up thinking about it. Mmmmmmmm, rectangular slices of mushy pizza with not enough cheese. Mmmmmm. Elio's pizza was one of my favorite foods for a really long time but I honestly didn't notice that you can't buy it anymore. I forgot about it until this morning. Must've been all that beer I drank last night.
And speaking of beer...
I put on SNL just in time for Weekend Update this past Saturday, and I was so disappointed to hear that it was Jimmy Fallon's last show. Now there's really no reason to watch it at all. It's cool that they still have Horatio Sans, but if Jimmy Fallon isn't there to crack up, then what's the point? I'll miss you, Jimmy. Give 'em hell. But please don't make a Boston Teens or Jarrett's Room movie. Don't make me hate you.
And speaking of hate...
Aren't puppies adorable?? Especially when they yawn. Awww.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Here's a really awesome video of Bush's State of the Union Address.
The only thing is, how much of this is real and how much is fake??? Hmmmm.
You ponder that, I'll be over here covered in lotion, reading your diary.
Here's my bio from
I moved to Phoenix, Arizona in 1998 and I graduated from Al Collins Graphic Design School with an Associates in Art in Visual Communications in April 2000. I now work as a jewelry designer and web designer for Mayfield's, Inc. and do a lot of freelance design work.
I am also an amputee who is the heir to the Nestle Qwik fortune. Me and my 12 kids, Barry, Roger, Seamus, Dick, Eunice, Propecia, Stuart, Funbag, Walter, Vart, Slippy, and Alfredo, live in a trailer on the West side of Phoenix. It ain't much, but we call it home. Sort of. I am also haunted by Fruits, the ghost of a koala killed in a freak land-mine accident, who only I can see and hear.
I also filled out their questionairre, stating that my political views are ultra-conservative, and that I own the following pets:Bird(s); Cat(s); Dog(s); Fish; Horse(s); Pig(s); Reptile(s); Rock(s); Rodent(s); Other.
One time I got an email from some guy, saying that he was also an amputee, and that he agreed with a lot of my views, and maybe we could get together some time. He sent me his picture and he was this wierd balding guy, on a beach with no shirt on, trying to suck in his floppy stomach. Sometimes men can be SO fucking creepy. I couldn't see what he had "amputated", and I'm guessing he was probably just trying to be funny or something. (If you weren't trying to be funny, sorry man.)