Tuesday, June 29, 2004

When I saw this headline on azcentral.com, I was like, "Oh, that has to be Chuck E. Cheese!!"

Mom allegedly threatens to 'whip' pizza mascot

Associated Press
Jun. 29, 2004 11:36 AM

MACON, Ga. - A teenager dressed as pizza mascot Chuck E. Cheese was pelted with pizza and threatened with a beating by an angry parent who said the mascot wasn't paying enough attention to her child, police said.

Macon police reported that the 17-year-old female employee was dressed as the character - a gray cartoon-like rodent with large front teeth - when a 31-year-old Macon woman threw a piece of pizza at her Sunday afternoon.

The report stated that the mother then threatened to "whip" the girl when she changed out of costume.

No charges were filed in the incident, so the name of the mother and employee were not released by police.

Holy shit, am I glad I wasn't Chuck E. in Georgia. I feel for you, anonymous 17 year old girl in Macon, Ga. Abused Chuck E.'s of the world unite.
We shall overcome.

Monday, June 28, 2004

I am pissed off right now. My boss is in Europe for the whole summer, and before she left she tried to set up a payroll service that would automatically send us our paychecks every 2 weeks. Well, the fucking thing doesn't work and I just got a call that if my boss doesn't call in payroll today, then we don't get paid until July 6th. I have rent due on the 1st so I'm basically fucked if we don't call it in today. She is the only one authorized to call in, and she's on a cruise ship somewhere on her way to who-knows-where. Fuuuuck.
So I decided to distract myself by posting a picture of me and Kane on Halloween. He was Jack Sparrow and I was Elizabeth Swan from "Pirates" (obviously). No one knew what I was. People kept asking me if I was Cinderella or something. I guess a lot of guys dressed as Jack Sparrow for Halloween, and they posted up pictures on the internet. So here's Kane's. Except he's not a creepy internet wierdo, so his might not count.

Friday, June 25, 2004

"Look, I have a shark fin on my head!! Isn't that wacky?? ERrrrrrrrrr!!!!! Duuuhhhhhhhhh!"
I really can't stand the morning news. Mostly it's just the morning news anchors that fry my chicken (?). This morning I sat down on the couch with my big bowl of Special K and turned on the tv. The first thing I saw on Fox 10 Arizona Morning was this stuffy "I'm trying to act fun and jovial" anchorman, I think his name is Rick D'amico, announcing that his co-anchor is out sick today. Instead of having her there, they opted for some wierd chicken mascot from God only knows what team. Don't arizona teams just have snakes and lizards and wolverines for their mascots? What up wit' da chicken? Anyhow, old Rick introduced the chicken like so,"Well, in place of Illona Carson today, we have a team mascot...Uh, what ummmmm.....Where are you going? What's this guy's name?" (Man in Chicken costume leans forward and points to his back, and on the back of his team jersey reads 'Spike'.). "Oh, ummmm, SPIKE! We have Spike here with us today and.....Do you like fresh fish, um, uh, Spike?? Do you like fish? Well coming up in the next half hour we'll meet a local chef...". At this point I rolled my eyes to no one, and changed to channel 12. Good Old NBC. Matt Lauer, Katie Couric. Maybe I'll actually hear some news from THESE respected journalists. Nope. I flip to that channel, and see Matt, Katie and Roker wearing "funny" hats and drinking margaritas (surely non-alcoholic. Can't have Matt giggling like a little girl through the story about all the orphans who died in last night's fire or something.), and announcing "Coming up soon, Jimmy Buffett will be here!!". Matt Lauer, who is wearing a foam shark fin on his head with his suit, got a lil' wacky and tilted the shark fin slightly off-kilter, which brought on boughts of hysterical laughter and screams from the huge crowd on the street. Very funny, Lauer. Well played.
The only one who seemed even close to pulling of the laid-back Buffett fan 'tude was Roker, who at least bothered to show up in a cheesy hawaiian print shirt and a straw hat, and was the only one to even take a sip of his margarita. Still, I'm so not buying it. Just stop. And does anyone really like Jimmy Buffett? Or is it just stuck up, stuffy old rich people who call themselves "Parrotheads" in an attempt to show their "fun" side? Bullshit, you may be "wastin' away again in Margaritaville", but you still cheat on your wife and try to bully your spoiled kids around.
I got yer fucking long lost shaker of salt right here, buddy.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Yesterday I had a really stressful day at work. All day I was pulled in a million (okay, maybe ten or eleven)different directions, and had to deal with a whole bunch of stupid shit all day. Problems galore. I left work around 5:15, and was going to go home and take a nice relaxing shower before I had to go to Lisa's house for the first read-through of the play we're directing. Anyway, when I get home Lisa calls me and asks if I wanted to go to Baja Fresh for dinner. That sounded good, much better than whatever Hot Pockets or Lean Cuisines I had in my freezer. So I decided to forget the shower and get food instead, cuz I was one hungry puppy. Arf Arf!!! So Lee picked me up and we drove over to the restaurant, and there was no parking anywhere. We circled the place, but then decided time was running short, we should probably just go somewhere else. Lisa suggested this new place, Rosati's that she and Tom had gotten pizza from, it was pretty good. So we drove on over there, each ordered baked ziti and a salad to go, and paid seperately. Then we waited. And waited. And then waited a little more. About 25 minutes goes by, and a guy comes out with one of the dinners and hands it to Lisa. I asked him where my dinner was, that we had ordered the same thing. The guy said that only one dinner was ordered, so I pulled out my reciept and gave it to him. (So THAT'S what receipts for food are for!). He went in the back to check, and was gone for like another 5-10 minutes. By this time, Lisa and I are really nervous because the read-through started at 7 and it was now 6:35. We still had to get back to her house and eat before people started arriving, so we had no more time to waste sitting in this dump. We went up to the counter and I asked for my money back, and that was another big production. I was so hungry and frustrated by this point, I was at that stage of hunger when you feel sort of nauseus. I just wanted to get out of there so bad. Finally I get my refund and the guy says,"Just give us a couple minutes, your dinner should be almost ready by now and you can have it for free."I told him I didn't want it anymore, we had no more time to wait, but he wouldn't take no for an answer and disappeared into the back again, with the other 10-15 people who were just sort of milling about back there. Lisa and I stood there for about 3 more minutes, then finally said"Fuck this!" and walked out. We got back to her house as fast as we could, and shared her dinner. And you know what? It was terrible baked ziti. The noodles were so overcooked they we like paste. Ugh. We ate what we could and threw the rest out, but we finished just in time for everyone to get there so that was good. I hate days like yesterday. I'm glad it's over with.
The read-through went really great, though. It sort of redeemed the whole day. Everyone did even better than we had expected, and all the actors have really good chemistry together. Thank you God, because after that crappy day, I was half expected someone at the readthrough to raise their hand and say, "Ummmm, I can't read.". Great.

Friday, June 18, 2004

Wow, I am really upset that the Al Qaida group killed that American hostage this morning. I was very much hoping that he would make it home alive. It's horrible when anything like this happens, but I guess this one strikes an even bigger chord with me because he was from New Jersey. This whole situation is so sick, I just wish Bush would bring everyone home already.
Sad Trish.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Does that Apple picture scare anyone? I made it and it even scares me. Lisa said she saw it in a nightmare last night. I'm sorry for unleashing that thing to the world. Actually, it's Gwyneth and Chris Martin who should be sorry. Damn you's all to HELL!
If you read Lisa's blog, you know that we are gonna be directing a play, and we had auditions last night. It was really fun, but everyone did so good it was hard to cast the show. I'm super-excited to work with everyone, especially Alison. She and I were in "Macbeth" together, as two of the witches(see below). I'm on the left, and she's on the right. And that's Mark in the middle, as the man witch. Manwich.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

me: Knock, knock.
you: Who's there?
me: Apple.

Friday, June 11, 2004

I just found this on azcentral.com's Losers of the Week column:
Reality show king Mark Burnett is planning a rock version of American Idol, in which the winner gets to be the lead singer of an already-established, internationally known rock band. He told Variety which rock band he's got in mind - INXS, the Australian band who lost their original lead singer, MICHAEL HUTCHENCE, to suicide in 1997. You're wondering how many hopefuls can hang in there it through the autoerotic asphyxiation elimination round, aren't you? You people are just terrible!
I'm surprised that INXS is still together after all these years. I bet their main criteria for a new lead singer is that he/she hmust have the DEVIL INSIDE. Ha! I made a funny.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Here's Mike Toole and Will Hung, during their trip to the "Die Shieze ist Gut" Wax Museum in Millburn, New Jersey. They particularly enjoyed the wax representation of the time Hitler was accused of eating all the fudgsicles from the concentration camp's kitchen freezer, which had been purchased in honor of japanese dictator Hideki Tojo's visit. It was later found that Tojo (pictured, upper right) ate the frozen treats himself, and framed Hitler for it.
Today is Johnny Depp's birthday. Happy birthday to you, sir. You're a fine actor and a good man. Please don't become an asshole in your old age. And I hope you one day get the chance to live out your dream of appearing on Fox's "The O.C.", because it is that higher plain that we all should aspire to.
Date: Tuesday, June 8th, 2004.
Scene: Lisa's car, driving south on Hayden road, about 8-ish.
Lisa: Keith Coogan is easy to do.
Tricia: Lees, I don't WANT to do Keith Coogan.

End scene.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Tomorrow is Lisa's birthday. I got her some cool presents, so if she doesn't like them, I get to keep them. Yes, most nice gestures in our family are feuled by greed. Anyway, I got her a rsklkjsafaf kiooa;aaakds. GOTCHA!!! You thought I was gonna tell you? WRONG!
I think we're all going out to dinner to some italian place, which we usually do every year for our birthdays. It's nice, but gone are the days we'd spend the passing of each year wearing our best rainbow-hearts or fluorescent finery, roller skating to "Kokimo" with 15-20 of our closest friends. I miss having soggy pizza and soda in plastic cups, and getting Barbie or Ninja Turtles presents. Laughing at my friends who roll over their own fingers while trying to lace their rented skates. And laughing with those friends at all the real fat people who lose their balance and fall down. And laughing with those fat people over how super-fun birthdays are!
I still like birthdays, but wouldn't it be more fun to unwrap a new SuperSoaker "Deathshower" 180,000,500 than a new set of kitchen towels? I'm just saying.
P.S. I got Lisa a new set of kitchen towels!!!!!!!! Woooo-HOOOOO! Shhhhhh, it's a secret!
Here's me and Lisa at Sea World in August of 2002. We found this manatee perched helplessly on a rock in the park, and this shot was taken before we bought him a Shamu-shaped ice cream bar and tossed him back into the sea.
This picture is brought to you directly from the twisted mind of Kane Black. He can't post photos on his blog because he has a Mac, and blogger discriminates. Anyway, I hope this scares your children.