Thursday, December 07, 2006

I know, it hasn't been a month yet, but something very sweet happened to me today and I had to share it.
I mentioned yesterday that I've been really sick for the past week, and I had to miss a lot of work. There's a lot of regular customers, people who I've gotten to know very well, and there's one lady in particular who is just awesome. Her name is Maic, and she's a little old lady with a very heavy french accent, she's in her late 70's and she moves and talks at 100 miles an hour. She just learned how to make jewelry this year, and she's extremely enthusastic about it, but in a cute way. She always likes me to help her with her stuff, and exclaims to all my ideas,"OH TREEESH!! You are Zo Wonderfulllll!!". I even went to her house a couple of times to teach ehr some jewelry stuff, which I wouldn't do for any other customer. I totally love her.
Anyway, today was my first day back at work, and when I got there this morning, I found a little package lying on the counter.

And guess what was inside?? THIS!!!!----->

Sure it's two sizes too small, and I have to use my hands to hold it on my head, but isn't that the sweetest thing for her to do?! I know it's cheesy but I was so touched by it. It's like I have my own sweet little french grandma. I called her today to thank her, and she told me she'll be in tomorrow, and "Treeesh, you better be wearing zeee hat when I get zere!!! You must keep zee head warm. Ozzerwise you get seeecker!". It's pretty cool of her to care about me like that. Although now I gotta wear it, but still.....
Thank you, Maic. You are one of the most interesting and funny people I know.

You know, I think I should post some pictures of what's been happening in the past month. It's been a while since I posted a ton of pictures. Here goes!

Here's my sister, kind of drunk at her wedding reception, with a strip of bacon on her arm! Sweet!

My Diddy-daddums was here for the wedding, and we celebrated his birthday while he was here. I made him a big batch of birthday cupcakes!!!! MMMM!

Here we all are partying at Kristen and Ezzy's hotel room. There was a lot of drink involved here, but the night had to quiet down thanks to someone banging on the floor from below us. Ezzy said it was a super tall guy from Kenya, who was just lifting himself up on tippy-toes and knocking on the cieling with the top of his head. I think he was right!

I cooked my first turkey this thanksgiving! It's tradition for my family to take a picture of the holiday meal, but I forgot until after I had cut into that bitch. But here's my best attempt at my grandmother's "Well, here it is, the labor of my love. Now just go ahead and wolf it down and forget that I spent all day in the kitchen slaving away for this, but Happy Thanksgiving anyway" face.

And lastly, here's Piggy, playing Orange Juice Peekaboo on thanksgiving morning. He really looked amazed that I was on both sides of the carton!! Wow!!
Okay, that's it for now. Have a great night everybody, and just remember, even though you may not believe it, you probably mean a lot to someone that you don't even realize. Try not to be so much of a whore all the time.
Best of luck with that!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Well hello everyone!
I guess it's time for my monthly in the blog, not the ewwwww. I'm sorry I never write. Maybe some of you check the page, and if so, thank you. I am still alive, although not by much at the moment. Why? Because I went and caught a bacterial infection in my throat (strep throat! YESS!) and my inner ear. I totally blame the fact that we haven't had heat for an entire week. This is also the week when Arizona decides to pose as a normal state and have actual cold weather in December for a change. Hmmmm, what better time for the gods to pull out the Trish voodoo doll and have at it! OK, I'm sorry for the self pity crap, but I am just so sick of stuff on top of stuff on top of other stuff going wrong. When's the good karma coming in that will make all of this crap worthwhile? I hope soon. I really want to win the lottery or something. You listening, karma??

Anyway, enough of all that noise. Christmas is coming!!!! YAY!!! I love me some christmas, and I've decided to take a relaxed, let's-just-drink-a-whole-bottle-of-wine-and-let-someone-else-worry-about-it approach to the holiday this year. Not that there will be much to worry about. But the bumps in the road that always end up there in spite of our best efforts, I will do my best to say fuck it, at least I don't have strep throat anymore!! I also have my christmas shopping done. That's right-DONE. I finished last night on the inter-web. Acutally I do still have to buy and mail something to my dad, but since I already know what that's gonna be, I am considering it DONE. Now I can sink into the old couch and enjoy the hell out of 25 Days Of Christmas. Which, by the way, I caught a REMARKABLY bad movie starring Kathy Ireland called "Once Upon A Christmas" last night. And tonight there's a sequel to it, the aptly-titled "TWICE Upon A Christmas". I hope they make it a trilogy, and the third one will be called "Thrice Upon a Christmas", because it would be nice to see the word thrice used somehow.
Sounds like a treat for awkward looking upper-class white couples everywhere.

Doesn't Kathy Ireland have the worst jaw ever? It's like a linebacker's jaw. She's very mannish, much like Lance Bass.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

I've been busy lately, so here's what's a-happening...
-The bead store where I work just had it's grand opening last night and it was a huge success. I legitimately had a great time there too, so that was cool not to have to keep a phony smile on my face all night. I love my job! Sorry to brag, but I am so happy to work at such a nice place. I am also happy to use the word legitimate in this blog. Amy, wherever you are, that one was for you.
-In upsetting news, Kane got mugged on Friday night. He was leaving a bar with his friend when it happened. Luckily though he got through it unharmed, and my baby came home to me in one piece at around 3am. He was so upset and so angry, so after he cancelled his credit cards and everything, I made him some frozen pizza and we watched South Park to try and take his mind off of what had happened. I've never been so relieved and happy to hear Kane laugh.
-Only one more week until Lisa and Greg's wedding!!! It's going to be so cool/surreal seeing my big sister walking down the aisle. I can't believe it's here already, it seemed like it was so far off. Now if we can just get them to tie the knot before Greg finds out she's a Mentally Retarded Female.....

Mr. F!
-I went to Ikea today and got two really nice new lamps, some new glasses to replace all of the ones that have chips in the rims yet we still drink from, a pretty new poster and a really good paring knife. All for only $40.
-And finally, tonight we saw Borat. Anyone who knows me knows how excited I was for this movie to come out, and I was not disappointed in the least. I was starting to worry that all the funny stuff was in the trailers, like they were giving too much away, but that is not the case at all. I actually started getting a headache from laughing too much. I can't wait to see it again, I think I'll take my dad while he's in town for the wedding.
Go see Borat. Now!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

I am having one of those days today. Those kind of sucky ones. It's been mainly just small stuff going wrong, and most of it will bore you, but I did manage to get knocked in the head pretty hard, and now have a huge lump on my temple. I was getting some stuff out of my storage closet, and a big heavy box fell down and whacked me on the side of the head. I actually saw stars. I sat on the couch for a long time with ice on my head, but I still have a big old welt that I am hoping won't turn into a bruise. This is the kind of stuff that always happens to me. I am what you might call "accident prone". If there's a sharp corner on the coffee table, I'll walk right into it, and I've managed to stub all of my toes in so many creative ways. And last week Kane had to bandage me up from when I was holding Fizzie and he heard something that scared him, so I got the hell scratched out of me. That one actually left me with two new scars right across my chest. Yay me!
Money also has got me down too. So many things are coming up and I want to be able to have money to spend, but already my paycheck I am getting tomorrow is already spent on just bills. Love it.
I know things will get better soon, but I just feel so drained right now in more ways than one. I think I just need a nice long vacation(preferably paid for by someone else).
On a happier note, I sold another necklace on etsy, which was such a nice, welcome surprise. Also, another lady is paying me to make 6 bracelets and 6 necklaces for her, so that will help too. It's a lot of work but if it pays off then it might lead to more work.
Kane and I saw The Prestige on Monday. I really liked it, especially David Bowie. That man is just so awesome.

As is my guy, Christian Bale, who I've stuck by since the days of Newsies, and I just keep being more and more proud of. If only some other childhood crushes had evolved so well.

Christian Slater, I'm talking to you.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

If you're thinking about being Booger from Revenge Of The Nerds for Halloween, here's what you need.
Don't forget the unshaven face. It's kinda important.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Get ready for an image you can keep with you for the rest of your life. Ready?


Monday, October 09, 2006

Last night I had this really weird dream, and since I got nothing better to tell you about, here's what it was.
I dreamt that I had to have stomach surgery, and that Dane Cook was the surgeon. I was awake during the whole operation, and I couldn't feel anything, just a slight tugging of my insides, which I think is just as bad. Anyway, I don't know what the problem was, but it seemed that I had a bunch of cross pendants from my job stuck in my stomach lining. They're sterling silver, inlaid with mother of pearl and turquoise. They're actually really pretty. Anyhow, Dr. Dane Cook had to remove each one at a time, but instead of pulling the whole thing out all together, he had to remove all of the stones from the silver first, then the silver part. And the whole time he's operating on me, he's just talking and talking about why I should go see "Employee Of The Month". And I'm just thinking, No, I'm really not interested in that movie, I'm sorry. Please pay attention to the operation, you jackass. I said none of this of course, but just silently layed there, wanting the operation to be over.

Oh, Dane. It's not that I don't like you. I do. I really do. Your albums are so funny, and you were awesome when we saw you at the Improv. It's just......her, you know? Look at her eyes, her vacant expression. Even YOU don't look comfortable next to her. I mean, if they had cast any other actress, I might....Ok, now you're just getting upset. Let's not say anything we don't really mean! You know what? If you can just relax a little, maybe make one or two movies a year, but mainly stick to your comedy, I'll buy you a candy apple at the mall. What do you say, buddy? Deal?
Anyway back to the dream. Well, that was it, basically. Except when I woke up, my stomach really hurt. Ooooooooo. Tell that story around the campfire this Halloween.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Dear Bastages,
As I sit here typing this, Fizzie is laying on my desk, softly pawing at my computer screen as the cursor moves around. I think he'd like to write, if he could. Until then I'll just have to settle for his little grunts and "eeeerf"s.
There's not much happening in my lie right now, so I don't have any cool stories or anything. I just feel bad for not updating. I sold another necklace, YAY! I shipped it out on Thursday morning, and I haven't heard anything from my customer, so I hope it's finding it's way to her okay.
Last Monday night I went to see Alice In Chains at the Marquee. It was a really good show, but it made me feel kind of sad that Layne Staley is gone. When he died no one gave a shit, because it was the same week that Left Eye from TLC kicked it. People still don't give a shit about AIC anyway. For Kane's birthday I wanted to get him an Alice In Chains shirt so I went to Hot Topic. Only after I said to the very clueless spikey-headed geek at the register,"Godsmack ripped them off..." did he go,"OH! Godsmack! Okay!". They didn't have any AIC shirts, surprise surprise.
Well, that's about it. I'm gonna go get ready for bed since Kane and I told ourselves that we were going to go to bed by 10 tonight. 1 or 2am is far too late when you have to get up so early.
Love and Kisses,
Roman Maroney

Thursday, September 14, 2006

It's been an interesting week so far. It's been filled mostly with the usual bumps in the road, but one thing in particular stands out as odd, especially as the type of thing that only seems to happen to me.
I was hard at work on Tuesday, and around 11:30 I decided to order myself some lunch. I had a hard time deciding between getting a yummy burrito from Taco Del Mar, or a yummy turkey sangwich from The Picnic Company. I asked Toni if she wanted anything from Taco Del Mar, and she said not today, maybe we can save that place for lunch on saturday. Good enough for me, I settled on the sandwich. So I called it in and when it came time to pick it up, I grabbed my stuff and wandered out to my car. As I got closer, something seemed.....not right. My car looked a darker red than usual. Huh? I get closer to discover that someone had covered my poor little Ford with salsa. That's right, salsa. As in Taco Del Mar's signature condiment. Fortunately it wasn't only my car, the car next to me also had a little spicy tomato bath, but still, why my car?? It was one of those moments where you just have to throw your hands up and laugh for a minute because even though it sucked and it was eating away my pretty paint job, it was still a pretty funny thing to happen. I didn't have time to go back in and get stuff to clean it up, since my lunch was ready and the clock was ticking on my break time. So I got in the car and tried to use my wipers and wiper fluid to clean a little of the salsa off my windshield. Bad idea. Crusty baked on salsa now smeared all over the glass, and I could barely see. I drove to Picnic Company with my head out the window for most of the drive.
After I picked up lunch I got back to work and told my boss, who helped me clean off my car with dishsoap and water. Dishsoap is also really bad for a paint job too, so right after work I went to the automatic car wash. Unfortunately I pulled in a little too far to the left, and my wheels got jammed up against the car guides, and I had to keep backing up and driving forward to try to get my car into position, but the cleaning had already begun, so I missed most of it. It just really sucked, but still somehow it was funny.
Anyway, the moral of the story is, do NOT piss off the salsa gods by planning on ordering some yummy mexican food and not following through. You MUST follow through, or you will end up with salsa con Car-ne. End of story. Be warned!

Monday, September 04, 2006

Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, died on Monday. I can't believe it, I'm so sad. I've seen almost every episode of his show, and me and my friends in high school used to have parties just to get together and watch it. He was the greatest.
I guess to me it's just so surreal because he's the Crocodile Hunter! He can't die.
He was a good man, he will be missed.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Sweet. I've been tagged, and it weren't even me berffday! As commanded by Lisa, here are my free-associations:
Dumpling: puddle
River: phoenix
Buttons: Amish
Sloth: coconut head
Amaze: graze

I'm tagging Robert, since I am a lousy friend and I never finally did his Jobbies tag (sorry man, I suck!) so his words are:

And mine are NOT from a dictionary, they're pulled from my own scrambled brain!! AHHHH!

Now here's a picture of some watermelon which scares me.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Hello everyone!
I've been a busy bee lately, here's some stuff I've been doing/watching:
---watching Lost:Season 1. Ok, ok I know I'm a million years behind everyone else, but this show is so damn good. Don't tell me if Locke or Charlie die. I couldn't take it.

---making vegetable soup from scratch. Yesterday both Kane and I were really sick, and I was craving my mom's soup so bad. I hate can soups so I decided to make some myself, and I have to say it came out really good. Although, I was pretty hopped up on medicine, so who knows.

---listening to Christina Aquilera's new album. Yikes! I was so embarrassed to buy this cd because it's a Christina Aguilera cd, but when I heard that it was very 1930's vaudeville and jazz influenced, I was curious. It's 2 discs, and I'm not crazy about the first one, but I love the second one. She should always sing in a more classic voice instead of that showy crap she always comes out with.

---changing the format of my blog. Like the lighthouse? I don't either. Blogger has lame templates.
---watching "Garth Merenghi's Darkplace".

Lisa and Greg showed it to us, and we are fucking hooked. I can't describe it, but it's brilliant. How come british people are so funny? It must be something in their fish and/or chips.
---reading! It frightens and confuses me!

---making more jewelry. Because I have nothing better to spend my money on, apparently.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

I just wanted to announce the launch of my newly redesigned site,!! Take a look, and tell me what you think!

Monday, July 31, 2006

Jagshemash, I like you! Do you like me?

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Hi guys, I'm back! Actually I never left, but I just haven't been feeling very bloggy in a while. I've lost all my internet interest actually. Maybe it's because I don't want to waste my time at the computer when I get home from work. Or maybe it's because I have nothing good to say. No matter what though, I am still here, and although I might not always post or leave my fellow bloggers some comments, I still love you all.
That having been said, I have a quick story to tell, that I have been promising for a while. The sunglasses story. It's pretty short, but it's a sad tale, full of twists and turns.
One summer about 9 years ago, Lisa, Mom and I went to Cape May for a few days for a little vacation. We ate, we laughed, we walked around, we got an old-timey photo taken, it was a great time.

See how much fun we're having? Well that was before. Before things took a tragic turn that hot late-summer day.
If memory serves me, we were doing a little shopping and were just leaving some bizarre hippie store that sold all those damn tie-dyed tapestries and cheesy candles that are supposed to glow when you light them, usually covered in ying yangs or dolphins or something. Lisa and I both needed to make a pit stop, and since we were right near the public beach, there was a large restroom nearby. Mom waited outside to have a quick smoke as us girls waited our turn in the bathroom. Two stalls opened up right next to each other and we were up to bat. Now mom always said not to sit on the seat of a toilet in a public restroom, because god only knows what the hell is on there. You could catch some weird disease. I was glad to see that the toilets were of the automatic flush variety, because if you could catch something from a toilet seat, you damn well are gonna catch it from the handle. I took off my purse and hung it on the hook, and secured my stuff before the great toilet balancing act. I could tell Lisa was probably doing the same on the other side of the formica wall. Everything went smooth on my side, but suddenly I heard a PLOP, followed by a swift toilet flush, and my sister's panicked voice shouting out "OH no! OH NOOOOO!!". There was a great shuffling of feet, still restricted by pants around the ankles, and even more cries of "Shit!" and "Damn it!!".
I came out of the stall to see Lisa standing by the sinks looking depressed.
"Umm, Lees, what the hell happened in there?"
"I flushed my sunglasses down the toilet."
"I was balancing and trying to take a pee,"(Mom would have been proud)," but I forgot I had my sunglasses tucked into my collar. They fell. Then it just.....flushed. They were gone."
"Well, we'll just get you some new ones."
"Fuck you, Trish. You don't have any fucking respect for my glasses!! I fashioned them myself out of twine, broken beer bottles and my own spit. You can just 'get' new ones!! You're so dumb!"
OK, that last part I made up, but after regaling the tale to my mother, we spent the rest of the day going into every store that had sunglasses so Lisa could try to find some new ones. She found a pair eventually, but they were not as cool as her old metallic brown framed shades. Poor Lisa was bummed out for pretty much the rest of the trip.
Anyway, poor Lisa never has any friggin luck, that's the point. And the other point is, somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean or wherever those toilets empty to, her glasses may still be out there.

Friday, June 30, 2006

Yum. We just ordered Pizza Hut. In just 20 short minutes I will be enjoying my very own personal pan pizza. Mmmm. I blame those fucking commercials they put on every night around 5. Either way, I'm gettin' pizza, so, so what!
Anyway, here's a great picture from The Land Of Disney.

There was an inordinately large amount of "Pirates" stuff in all the souvenier stores, but sadly I took none of it home. Mainly because I would find something really cool, pick it upo, and it would say "Pirate Princess" on it. LAME! There ain't no such thing as a Pirate Princess. Whores, maybe, but no Princesses. Anyway, here I am modeling a pair of Pirate Princess Mickey ears. Mucho Sexiness! Hey, it kinda looks like I'm grabbing my own boobs. Nice!

Brianna, lookin Fiiiiine in a Jack Tophat. She didn't buy it though. She ain't no friggin tourist, she worked there and knows firsthand where all that money goes---to the DEVIL.

Here's a really cute picture of Diana and Erin, waiting in line for the Haunted Mansion. So cute I posted the big size!!
OK, gotta go but I will put up more later.
Pizza her I come!! Get ready for the eating, bitch!!!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Hey, do you think Lisa would mind if I wore this at her wedding??

Come on, it looks like something I would have dreamed about when I was five! I gottsa have it!!
Alright fine, I guess I'll just have to wait until my own wedding to wear it. Poo.

On a side note, Kane and I went to Disneyland with Brianna, Robert, Diana, Matt and Erin from Wednesday-Friday! I had never been there before, and I loved it. I had such an amazing time, I got to ride Indiana Jones (the RIDE, Shitferbrains!), went soaring over California, got stung in the spine by bugs, saw Walt Disney's boner, and got a pretty bad sunburn. I also called "The Beast" the n-word.

Great times. It was one of the best road trips ever, and I promise I'll put up some pics soon. I am still too damn lazy to hook the camera up to the computer and load the pictures, but tomorrow night is the night. Fo sho.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

I've been tagged!! Lisa already got a lot of good ones. I don't know where to begin, let's see....
1. The Princess Diana Crown
When I was little I knew I wanted to be a crafter. I made stuff all the time, or I was always drawing or putting glitter on stuff. I also really liked the idea of "passing on my knowledge", and wanted to have a radio show where I could tell people how to make stuff, and give them helpful hints. I also had a Princess Diana coloring book.
Now I was never too thrilled with Princess Diana. I know, she's "England's Rose" and "The People's Princess", but I always thought she could have at least looked prettier. Grew her hair long and maybe wear some sparkly pink ballgowns and red lipstick. I mean, she was a Princess for god's sake. The only thing I dug about my coloring book was the cut-out Princess Diana Crown from inside the back cover.
For some reason I didn't want to cut it out though, so I decided to make my own out of construction paper, glitter, sequins, staples, and whatever else was laying around. Genius!! It worked, and looked sooooo much better than that dumpy Princess's crown. This was a craft I was ready to share with the world, so I grabbed a blank tape and our tape recorder and set up shop in the den. After doing a quick Lisa Scan and realizing I was safe, I pressed record and got to work. I was going to help so many people! I even explained that once they were done, they could keep the crown themselves, "or your baby sister could have it!". I was such a good teacher. Pleased with myself, I took the tape and hid it somewhere, and put on my crown to set out and see what the royal mother had made me for lunch.
Eventually I forgot about the tape, but not for long. A couple of days later, I heard my own voice coming out of Lisa's room. Oh shit. Somehow she had found it. She teased me about it a lot, and I remember being so embarassed. But apparently not enough to stop making tapes of myself singing, talking, playing, or whatever. This was the first of many tapes she would find and laugh at, or play for the family. Sure, I can joke about it now, but back then, it cut. Like a knife.
2. Chicken and BLOOD!
I associate chicken drumsticks with bloody fingers. I know it's wierd, but here's why.
My parents used to have company over sometimes when were were little, and Mom would feed me and my sister our dinner before we were sent upstairs to amuse ourselves, or play with the other guests' wierd kids. Sometimes she'd let us help set up the food or get stuff ready for the party, which I loved because I got to eat some of the yummy hor devours. One time when I was about 4, she had these little frozen chicken pieces shaped like drumsticks that she had heated up in the oven and stuck toothpicks through, and put out a little bowl of BBQ sauce to dip them in. They were so good, I can still taste them 22 years later. I guess I ate a lot of them because mom got kind of mad, and said to save some for our guests. I got mad, cuz I could'nt eat no more chicken! I stomped upstairs with Lisa, but I wanted to be ALONE. I don't know what Lisa was doing, but I remember being alone in our yellow bedroom, sitting on the floor by the heater. There's probably a name for the type of heater, but it's the kind everyone had that ran along the floor around the room, covered in metal and open at the bottom. I remember I stuck my fingers under there and squeezed the sharp metal. I cut my fingers, probably not too bad or anything, but I felt like I was gonna die. I started to cry and Lisa came running in, and she took me downstairs through the party to find Mom. She got my fingers all clean, and I remember saying, "Can I please have more chicken now?". And you know what? It was all gone.
This is also one of my first memories.
3. The Norweigen Picnic
I loved summer growing up, but every year me and my sister had only one thing to fear-The Norweigen Picnic. Our grandmother, who made us call her Oma, never did anything with us. She was the exact opposite of what the typical grandmother should be. The only time she ever showed any interest in either of us was if she could show us off to her fellow old friends. Oh, what cute granddaughters(now go away.)! Anyway, every summer, she'd call up mom to invite me and Lisa to the Norweigen Picnic. Oma was verrry active in the Norweigen community(if there really is such a thing), despite the fact that she was NOT NORWEIGEN HERSELF. Sure our grandfather was Norweigen, but he didn't even go to these wonderful picnics. Of course my mom wanted us to spend time with our grandmother, so off we went. I don't know where it took place, but it sucked so bad. All these old, pale Norweigen people hanging around, squinting in the bright sun, with their wierd grandkids. Nothing to eat but boiled fish and diet Tab, and maybe a random deaf kid to play with(seriously). There was one year the they had a craft thing in the "lodge", and Lisa and I were forced by Oma to get in there and make some miniature log reindeer, which she ended up confiscating for her very own, if I recall. And these picnics would drag on for hours. The only good thing that came out of going to these friggin things was that it made me very grateful for my sister. Thank god she was there with me to make fun of stuff and hone our sarcastic sense of humor, or else I would have had to off myself right there, in the middle of a spirited game of Gerflootenhaager.
4. Cheese Spread and Salad Dressing
No lengthy description needed here. My favorite snack from about 6 all the way until I was about 12 was eating processed cheddar cheese spread off of a paper plate. I'd smear it off with my fingers and eat it. No crackers, no nothing. If there was no Wispride(The Pride of Wisconsin, I doubt it!), then italian salad dressing would have to do. Still eaten off of a paper plate. Ewwww.
5. Welcome To The Dollhouse
I had a really cool wooden dollhouse. It was perfectly furnished with tiny little detailed furniture and wallpaper, and I loved making my dollies dance around inside of it to Billy Joel's "Pressure" (remember that, Lisa???). Anyway, it had a big piece of wood that you slid onto the back to close up the dollhouse and put it away. One day, for no reason that I can recall, I took a piece of yellow chalk and drew a big pair of boobs on there. I don't know why. But those boobs stayed on there for a pretty long time. Probably until I got boobs myself.
6. The Tropical Rainforest
I met one of my best friends in the whole world in 5th grade, and I hated her guts. Amy was one of those really pretty girls, always looked perfect, always knew every answer in class, always had the prettiest pens and coolest erasers. You know the type. Anyway, we didn't like each other one bit, until we went on a class trip to Poricy Park. Before our day of fun and learning about protecting the environment began, our class all filed into the big rec room there, where some goofball showed us a late-80's rap video about the Tropical Rainforests. I believe it was entitled,"Oh What a Beauty!(The Tropical Rainforest)". As we all sat there in the near-dark, watching a bunch of nerdy 20-somethings in fluorescent baseball hats spittin' some lyrics about saving the rainforest, something about the scene struck me as hilarious. I couldn't believe that no one else thought so, since all my classmates were just sitting there, hypnotised by the jungle beat and staring at the tv, mouths agape. I was trying really hard not to laugh out loud, and as I looked up, I caught Amy's eye, who was shaking with laughter too. We kept laughing through the whole thing, so much that we both practically had tears in our eyes, and still no one else in the class seemed to notice. For the rest of the day, me and Amy stuck together and laughed at pretty much everything. This continued through pretty much the rest of my school years. In junior high, people hated us and wouldn't let us sit at their lunch table, because "those girls are always laughing!". But so what, it made us laugh even more. Anyway, I'm glad that the Rain Forests exist, because without them, me and Amy might have hated each other for the rest of our lives.
Yay, that was fun!
Now I tag Kane, Robert, Matt and Diana, and Lisa again, just because!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Last night we went to a party for our friend Caroline's birthday at the Arizona Puppet Theater. I guess her boyfriend works there, so they were able to have the party in the courtyard outside, and he's also a DJ so had a table all set up and was spinning some toooooones. It was a cool party, definitely unlike any I've been to before. They had a projector with some puppet cut-outs on it, and people kept moving them or making them dance. It was all projected on the wall of the building, it looked so cool. I tried to take a picture of it, but it didn't come out too good.
We also got to go inside and have a little tour of some of the old puppets used at the theater in the 20's and 30's. I couldn't get over how detailed they were, and how well preserved. Some of them were seriously scary though.
Here's Kane admiring some of the nightmares, I mean, puppets.
These puppets were from a 1931 production of "Peer Gynt". If you look closely, the ones in the back kind of look like me and Robert! Scary!
Anyway, the party got too hot(Not hot like, "Awww yea dat's HOT!" but actually hot. Even nighttime in AZ is still 100 degrees.) so we decided to head out early.
Then today I went over to Brianna and Robert's to help finish the Harry Potter bathroom. On my way, I got a pretty nasty flat tire, but luckily it happened after I got off of the freeway, so I was grateful for that. Still though, it was money I didn't plan on spending so that sucked. Also, when I got to the place to pick up my card, I realized I didn't have my credit card with me so I had to pay with debit, which overdrew my account. Ugh. Luckily I was able to transfer some $$ into that account, so maybe I beat those bank people to the motherfucking punch! I hate money.
But I love Brianna's new baby kitten, Sirius!
Here he is after a cool refreshing drink out of the water bowl. Ahhhhhh.
In related news, Fizzie has his own tennis ball now. He plays with it like he's a dog, except he can't carry it in his little mouth. But he loves his ball so much, he can amuse himself for quite some time.
OK, enough pictures. Time for bed. I'll write again soon, but until then, keep your pants dry.

Monday, May 15, 2006

You are a sexy diva like Jennifer Lopez

There are no two ways about it. You love your fancy finery, and you know how to wear it with oomph. While your appearance isn't dictated by trends, you always look in style and you always work your wardrobe in a sexy way like your soul-mate celebrity Jennifer Lopez. Curve-hugging Diane von Furstenberg wrap dresses paired with jeweled high-heel Dior sandals are practically your uniform, and there's no such thing as dressing down for the weekend for you. But wouldn't it be nice to not have to spend hours getting ready in the morning? Casual chic is something you should attempt on occasion. Go ahead -- try the cropped jeans and flirty flats. Try wearing a natural makeup look. You'll be amazed at what you can accomplish with the hours you save by not getting decked out all the time... like spending more time shopping.

Just in case you were wondering, that's not the picture of her ivillage chose along with their snappy quiz. It's just how I feel being compared to Jennifer Lopez.
Go on, try the quiz. Do it!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Lisa tagged me to do this survey, but I think I already did it, didn't I? Oh hell, here goes nothin'!
6 Weird Things About Me
1. I used to collect antique keys. I still would, if Arizona had any cool old stores like NJ does. I just think old keys are pretty.
2. I am so terrified of the scary old guy from The Poltergeist 2 that if I see him for even a second I feel nauseous.
3. I found out once that I have a really high IQ. Then I forgot what it was. I guess it wasn't really that high then, right?
4. I saw "Kingpin" in the movies 4 times. All on acid.
5. I like to examine my food very closely before putting it in my mouth. I won't eat it unless I've studied it, and made sure it is completely free of anything inedible, uncooked, or otherwise icky. It also must have the proper amounts of topping or sauce (if there is sauce, like spaghetti.) I have to have just the perfect amount in each bite so I don't have any bites with too much sauce or no sauce at all. This especially goes for Lucky Charms cereal. I have to have complementary colored marshmallows on my spoon, otherwise I have to drop the spoonful back into the bowl and start again until I get the colors that I think look pretty together.
6. I'm trying to re-learn how to hula hoop. That shit is hard!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Reading Lisa's post about Garfield reminded me of this page. It's old but I think it still applies. Because Garfield still sucks.

Here's some jerk in a Garfield costume. If I ever see anyone wearing this ever, I swear to god I will beat them with a garden hose.

Monday, April 24, 2006

It's times like these that make life worth living.
Blood Drips Heavily On Newsies Square
Don Knotts and the Newsies, together at last! Here is the summary:
Washed up actor Don Knotts shows up on the back lot of Universal Studios in Hollywood, California in hopes of landing a role in the new Disney movie, Newsies. Unfortunately director Kenny Ortega quickly dismisses Mr. Knotts and has him thrown off the lot. Mr. Knotts is quite upset by the turn of events, so decides to go on a killing spree, believing that if he can't have a role in the movie no one can. He knocks off one newsie after the next, each in a different and unique way.
Here's a list of how some of them die, which is just excellent. You have no idea how much this movie sounds like something I made up! If you knew me at all around age 13 and 14, then you know how I loved dem Newsboys. Okay maybe only my sister and Jen know, but Newsies was both a beginning to my love for Christian Bale, and also a huge source of demented and sarcastic inspiration. Jen and I wrote countless songs about the Newsies, each one funnier than the last, but probably only to us.
Anyway, I need to buy this movie. I already know it will be the greatest film ever made. I mean, one of them shits himself to death! Come on!

Laugh it up now, Newsies, for tonight you DIE.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

I better update before no one checks my blog anymore! Sorry guys!
I just got home from Brianna and Robert's house, where I spent most of the day painting the Harry Potter bathroom. We got about half of it done today, the hardest part at least. We painted all of the walls like old stone bricks, and I got a nice start on the enchanted ceiling. There's a full moon at Hogwarts tonight, boys and girls. Tonight, and every night as it is painted there in acrylics. We're going to finish the rest in 2 weeks, and I can't wait to see it finished. So far though, I have to say it looks even better than I thought it would! Gotta remember to take some pictures.
I've spent the past two nights at home by myself, and I have to say it was sooooo nice. Just hanging out with nothing to do and nowhere I had to be. I was planning on going shopping both Friday and Saturday nights, but I am so glad I didn't. Kane had plans with friends both nights, so I just unpacked a little more and watched some movies and some VH1 Teen Star specials. I think I need to spend more time home just relaxing, so should Kane. We have been so busy for like a whole month, we both need a little peace and calm.
It's starting to get too hot here in Arizona already. It makes me very misty for spring in New Jersey, for lots of breezy, warm days and flowers and that earthy, garden smell that everyone's lawn has at this time of year. And rain. I really miss rain. Anyway, Lani, if you're reading this, know that I am so so jealous of you right now! Good luck in your apartment search and if you can, please try to get to Red Bank for the day and wander around a bit for me. Go to Jack's Music and have a salad and some chocolate cake at the Broadway Diner. Buy some cheesy retro stuff at Backwards glances and maybe go see a show at the Count Basie. I'll be there with you in spirit.
Okay, I better go wash some of this paint out of my hair and pick out a movie for me and Kane to watch tonight. Maybe Heathers. I'm in a Heathers mood, I think.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

-Kyle's cousin Kyle.
Well, I am in the condo now, and I finally got the internet back up and running. It's been one hell of a move, and we're not out of the woods yet. There's still all kinds of crap to be done at the old place, and I need to sell my washer and dryer within the next five days. So if any of you know someone who wants a stackable, tell them to leave me a comment or whatever!
The condo is nice, really really nice. The only problem is, it seems we have an asshole neighbor, who already left a nasty note on my car on my FIRST DAY here. It seems that he owns one of the visitor parking spots, or at least he thinks he does, and how dare I park there??? After all, my need to unload the piles and piles of heavy things from my car to carry up the steps is just not a good enough reason for him to have to park another 10 feet away! Anyway, the guy's a jerkoff, so welcome to the neighborhood, I guess. Either way, we're going to send the note to the homeowner's association, and they can deal with his claim that the visitor's spot is rightfully his. Good luck with that, buddy.
I could bore you with more details of the many pain-in-the-ass things that have been going on, but that's no fun. So instead, how about Britney's baby's skull fracture, huh?? Man, who the hell would imagine that kid being in mortal peril? His parents seem so responsible!

I hope Sean Preston gets taken away from them, because that would be very funny to me. I also hope K-Fed's bitch braids get taken away from him too. And I have a feeling that would be more upsetting to him than losing the kid.
One last thing before I go. Now that there's nationwide attention on the problems with illegal immigrants here in America, is it okay for me to finally say that they should just go the fuck home? Stop stealing all the room from all of those people who are working to be here, doing it the legal way and waiting their turn. It pisses me off. I'm speaking, of course, about all those Swedish immigrants. Just go home already!! We don't want your fucking IKEA's and your goddamn meatballs!! Jeez! I hate the Swedes! They're just a bunch of dirty Svens and Helgas!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Saturday is the big move! I go tomorrow to pay the remaining deposit, and pick up the key. The movers will get here while I'm at work, so that sucks but by Sunday I'll be living it up in our awesome condo. Now I just hope I can get everything packed by then. So the past week I have been one busy little bee, but somehow I have still found the time for a little Photoshop magic!!!

I like that last one so much I made it my myspace background. I'm such a dork.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Kane is out at rehearsal tonight for Trainspotting, and I'm home all by meself. I know I should be packing for the big move which happens next week, but all I can do is watch Northern Exposure, and I can't stop. Last night I made a mad dash to Target to buy Season 4, which came out yesterday. I got home and put it in the DVD player immediately, and since then I have watched 5 episodes. I plan to watch at least 2 more tonight. I can't help it, I am addicted to that show. I wish there really was a Cicely, Alaska, because I would be moving there instead of a condo down the street. Sigh.
As I am typing this, all I can hear is the wind gently blowing throw my bedroom window, and three cats, yowling and growling at each other. There's a black cat at my bedroom window outside, and my two guys can't get enough of him. They're freaking out, but not in an angry way. I think they're making friends or something, because it sounds like they're trying to form words. Riley and Fizzie will talk to the cat outside (let's call him Flufferstuffs) and then Flufferstuffs will answer, and my little fellas will look at each other and then answer again. Observe.

Okay, now they're getting too loud, I better go shut the window before the neighbors get all bent. G'night Flufferstuffs!

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Well, we found a condo that is both awesome and affordble, so Kane and I move in on the 6th. I feel like a huge weight is lifted from my shoulders, that I will not have to live in some crappy ghetto apartment. Yay!
I've started going through everything, and getting rid of some of the stuff I have had lying around forever and will never need. It's a slow moving process since I am a huge packrat and feel the need to keep every single scrap of paper or article of clothing that comes into my possession. However, the temptation to replace all of it has already set in. Here's some items that I feel the need to clutter my life with:

Actually, I just ordered that last one. I couldn't help myself.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Well, today I start my search for a new place to live. We have to be quick though, since we have to give our move-out notice, oh, TODAY. Yesterday I found out that my apartment complex raised our rent by about $150 a month, so since it would now cost us over $1000 to live in the same small apartment, we have to get out now (or in 30 days from now to be exact) or be locked into a lease that we can't afford. Ugh. I hate apartments anyway.
But it will be okay. Kane's sister is a real estate agent, and she's on the job looking for condos and houses for rent, and Brianna is coming over today to help with the search. It will be fun, as long as we don't look in Scottsdale. I don't think I can afford Scottsdale anymore, the rents here have all gotten really high.
Well, on the plus side, I do hate my downstairs neighbor here, so that would be a plus with leaving, and I am getting a pretty nice raise (which I think should start with tomorrow's paycheck, I hope!) so that will help with all the moving fees and junk. Thank god. But either way, I dread moving. So not fun. But I can be secure in the fact that someday I will have a home of my own, and I won't have to worry about this type of shit anymore.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Sometimes I do things that I really don't think through. Thankfully it usually works out ok, and yesterday was no exception. Since Kane got his hair cut last week I've been jonesing to snip off my own split ends and have a mini makeover. My hair is just, ugh. It'd be cool if it was either all curls, or all straight, but it's a lot of both. It just hangs, and I have to really fight with it to make it presentable enough to wear down. Usually I give up the fight and put it in a clip or that half-assed ponytail-only-pulled-halfway-through-the-holder thing that resembles a wierd bun.
Anyway, yesterday morning I was tired of fighting. I got up and looked in the mirror and actually said out loud, "ewww.". So I got in the car and drove to the nearest Great Clips, where before I could even second guess myself, I was being led to the chair of a man named Boris who barely spoke english and immediately began to comb my hair into sections and clip them up. He grabbed the scissors and started to begin, and I hadn't even told him what I wanted yet! Stop Boris, you're ruining me! Nooooooo!
I guess he saw the look of horror on my face or the beads of sweat on my forehead, because he slowed his approach and practically whiospered in broken english, "Whaddayou wann?". I told him to cut it to my shoulders, long enough so I could still put it up if I wanted to. In Boris's language, that means "to my chin". He just started cutting away, and with my back to the mirror, the only guage of how he was doing was watching these really long curls float to the floor before my eyes. About 4-5 inches long. I was starting to feel like Jo in Little Women. Except I wasn't selling my hair to save my family. Lisa and mom are doing just fine without my follicles' help, thank you very much.
Finally, Boris spun the chair around and I looked at myself, and I felt better. It wasn't as bad as I was anticipating. Yeah, it was too short, but I could definitely get used to it. This got me thinking, even if the cut sucked so bad and I was really upset, why would it be such a huge deal? People always seem so afraid to look bad, and having fucked up hair is enough to make a few girls I know cry like a kid at summer camp. Hair grows back. Why are people so afraid to change it? Oh yeah, Keri Russell lost her career over her haircut. Oh well, she just wasn't any good to begin with so who cares.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Lani hath taggedeth me. I must answereth her survey.
Four jobs I have had in my life:

1. Party hostess/Chuck E. Cheese himself. Oh how I wished I could have been working in the game room, passing out tokens and sweepin' up a bit. Not pulling half-eaten pizza out of my hair and sweating/freezing in the ice-pack vest inside the Chuck E. Suit.
2. Cashier at a dry cleaner. That job ruled.
3. Jewelry designer/graphic designer/web site master/photographer/office manager/production manager/butt monkey at a fine jewelry company
4. Bead store girl/bookkeeper at Scottsdale Bead, the best job ever!!

Four movies I'd watch over and over:
1. Better Off Dead
2. Shawn Of The Dead
3. Billy Madison
4. Team America

Four places I have lived:
1. Belford, NJ
2. Middletown, NJ
3. Phoenix, AZ
4. Scottsdale, AZ

Four TV shows I love to watch:

I don't watch a lot of current shows, so this list must include some cancelled ones.
1. Arrested Development.
2. The Soup on E
3. Northern Exposure
4. Buffy

Four places I have been on vacation:

1. Disneyworld in Florida.
2. Lake George, NY
3. San Diego. Which is Spanish for a Whale's Vagina.
4. Delaware Water Gap, somewhere near or in Delaware. I dunno, it's kind of a blur.

Four websites I visit daily:

1. E!online
2. Go Fug Yourself
4. blogs

Four of my favorite foods:
1. salad
2. pasta. Any kind as long as it has good sauce.
3. cheese popcorn, the orange kind.
4. pizza

Four places I would rather be right now:

1. In bed
2. Red Bank, NJ
3. Cicely, Alaska
4. In a room full of tiny baby kittens who are all climbing all over me and each other and making little tiny, barely audible meows. Awwwwwww.
Enjoy Aids!

Monday, February 27, 2006

I just found out that Darren McGavin died on Saturday. That makes me so sad. Not only was he Ralphie's Dad, but he was Billy Madison's Dad!!! I also had no clue he was 83. It seemed to me like he was permanently in his 50's or 60's.

Farewell, Mr. Parker. You deserve a major award!

Friday, February 24, 2006

Postcard From Beyond The Grave!

Oh Elvis, I miss you too.
Wish you weren't on a fishin' trip on Brokeback Mountain. Come home soon, Darlin.