Friday, June 30, 2006

Yum. We just ordered Pizza Hut. In just 20 short minutes I will be enjoying my very own personal pan pizza. Mmmm. I blame those fucking commercials they put on every night around 5. Either way, I'm gettin' pizza, so, so what!
Anyway, here's a great picture from The Land Of Disney.

There was an inordinately large amount of "Pirates" stuff in all the souvenier stores, but sadly I took none of it home. Mainly because I would find something really cool, pick it upo, and it would say "Pirate Princess" on it. LAME! There ain't no such thing as a Pirate Princess. Whores, maybe, but no Princesses. Anyway, here I am modeling a pair of Pirate Princess Mickey ears. Mucho Sexiness! Hey, it kinda looks like I'm grabbing my own boobs. Nice!

Brianna, lookin Fiiiiine in a Jack Tophat. She didn't buy it though. She ain't no friggin tourist, she worked there and knows firsthand where all that money goes---to the DEVIL.

Here's a really cute picture of Diana and Erin, waiting in line for the Haunted Mansion. So cute I posted the big size!!
OK, gotta go but I will put up more later.
Pizza her I come!! Get ready for the eating, bitch!!!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Hey, do you think Lisa would mind if I wore this at her wedding??

Come on, it looks like something I would have dreamed about when I was five! I gottsa have it!!
Alright fine, I guess I'll just have to wait until my own wedding to wear it. Poo.

On a side note, Kane and I went to Disneyland with Brianna, Robert, Diana, Matt and Erin from Wednesday-Friday! I had never been there before, and I loved it. I had such an amazing time, I got to ride Indiana Jones (the RIDE, Shitferbrains!), went soaring over California, got stung in the spine by bugs, saw Walt Disney's boner, and got a pretty bad sunburn. I also called "The Beast" the n-word.

Great times. It was one of the best road trips ever, and I promise I'll put up some pics soon. I am still too damn lazy to hook the camera up to the computer and load the pictures, but tomorrow night is the night. Fo sho.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

I've been tagged!! Lisa already got a lot of good ones. I don't know where to begin, let's see....
1. The Princess Diana Crown
When I was little I knew I wanted to be a crafter. I made stuff all the time, or I was always drawing or putting glitter on stuff. I also really liked the idea of "passing on my knowledge", and wanted to have a radio show where I could tell people how to make stuff, and give them helpful hints. I also had a Princess Diana coloring book.
Now I was never too thrilled with Princess Diana. I know, she's "England's Rose" and "The People's Princess", but I always thought she could have at least looked prettier. Grew her hair long and maybe wear some sparkly pink ballgowns and red lipstick. I mean, she was a Princess for god's sake. The only thing I dug about my coloring book was the cut-out Princess Diana Crown from inside the back cover.
For some reason I didn't want to cut it out though, so I decided to make my own out of construction paper, glitter, sequins, staples, and whatever else was laying around. Genius!! It worked, and looked sooooo much better than that dumpy Princess's crown. This was a craft I was ready to share with the world, so I grabbed a blank tape and our tape recorder and set up shop in the den. After doing a quick Lisa Scan and realizing I was safe, I pressed record and got to work. I was going to help so many people! I even explained that once they were done, they could keep the crown themselves, "or your baby sister could have it!". I was such a good teacher. Pleased with myself, I took the tape and hid it somewhere, and put on my crown to set out and see what the royal mother had made me for lunch.
Eventually I forgot about the tape, but not for long. A couple of days later, I heard my own voice coming out of Lisa's room. Oh shit. Somehow she had found it. She teased me about it a lot, and I remember being so embarassed. But apparently not enough to stop making tapes of myself singing, talking, playing, or whatever. This was the first of many tapes she would find and laugh at, or play for the family. Sure, I can joke about it now, but back then, it cut. Like a knife.
2. Chicken and BLOOD!
I associate chicken drumsticks with bloody fingers. I know it's wierd, but here's why.
My parents used to have company over sometimes when were were little, and Mom would feed me and my sister our dinner before we were sent upstairs to amuse ourselves, or play with the other guests' wierd kids. Sometimes she'd let us help set up the food or get stuff ready for the party, which I loved because I got to eat some of the yummy hor devours. One time when I was about 4, she had these little frozen chicken pieces shaped like drumsticks that she had heated up in the oven and stuck toothpicks through, and put out a little bowl of BBQ sauce to dip them in. They were so good, I can still taste them 22 years later. I guess I ate a lot of them because mom got kind of mad, and said to save some for our guests. I got mad, cuz I could'nt eat no more chicken! I stomped upstairs with Lisa, but I wanted to be ALONE. I don't know what Lisa was doing, but I remember being alone in our yellow bedroom, sitting on the floor by the heater. There's probably a name for the type of heater, but it's the kind everyone had that ran along the floor around the room, covered in metal and open at the bottom. I remember I stuck my fingers under there and squeezed the sharp metal. I cut my fingers, probably not too bad or anything, but I felt like I was gonna die. I started to cry and Lisa came running in, and she took me downstairs through the party to find Mom. She got my fingers all clean, and I remember saying, "Can I please have more chicken now?". And you know what? It was all gone.
This is also one of my first memories.
3. The Norweigen Picnic
I loved summer growing up, but every year me and my sister had only one thing to fear-The Norweigen Picnic. Our grandmother, who made us call her Oma, never did anything with us. She was the exact opposite of what the typical grandmother should be. The only time she ever showed any interest in either of us was if she could show us off to her fellow old friends. Oh, what cute granddaughters(now go away.)! Anyway, every summer, she'd call up mom to invite me and Lisa to the Norweigen Picnic. Oma was verrry active in the Norweigen community(if there really is such a thing), despite the fact that she was NOT NORWEIGEN HERSELF. Sure our grandfather was Norweigen, but he didn't even go to these wonderful picnics. Of course my mom wanted us to spend time with our grandmother, so off we went. I don't know where it took place, but it sucked so bad. All these old, pale Norweigen people hanging around, squinting in the bright sun, with their wierd grandkids. Nothing to eat but boiled fish and diet Tab, and maybe a random deaf kid to play with(seriously). There was one year the they had a craft thing in the "lodge", and Lisa and I were forced by Oma to get in there and make some miniature log reindeer, which she ended up confiscating for her very own, if I recall. And these picnics would drag on for hours. The only good thing that came out of going to these friggin things was that it made me very grateful for my sister. Thank god she was there with me to make fun of stuff and hone our sarcastic sense of humor, or else I would have had to off myself right there, in the middle of a spirited game of Gerflootenhaager.
4. Cheese Spread and Salad Dressing
No lengthy description needed here. My favorite snack from about 6 all the way until I was about 12 was eating processed cheddar cheese spread off of a paper plate. I'd smear it off with my fingers and eat it. No crackers, no nothing. If there was no Wispride(The Pride of Wisconsin, I doubt it!), then italian salad dressing would have to do. Still eaten off of a paper plate. Ewwww.
5. Welcome To The Dollhouse
I had a really cool wooden dollhouse. It was perfectly furnished with tiny little detailed furniture and wallpaper, and I loved making my dollies dance around inside of it to Billy Joel's "Pressure" (remember that, Lisa???). Anyway, it had a big piece of wood that you slid onto the back to close up the dollhouse and put it away. One day, for no reason that I can recall, I took a piece of yellow chalk and drew a big pair of boobs on there. I don't know why. But those boobs stayed on there for a pretty long time. Probably until I got boobs myself.
6. The Tropical Rainforest
I met one of my best friends in the whole world in 5th grade, and I hated her guts. Amy was one of those really pretty girls, always looked perfect, always knew every answer in class, always had the prettiest pens and coolest erasers. You know the type. Anyway, we didn't like each other one bit, until we went on a class trip to Poricy Park. Before our day of fun and learning about protecting the environment began, our class all filed into the big rec room there, where some goofball showed us a late-80's rap video about the Tropical Rainforests. I believe it was entitled,"Oh What a Beauty!(The Tropical Rainforest)". As we all sat there in the near-dark, watching a bunch of nerdy 20-somethings in fluorescent baseball hats spittin' some lyrics about saving the rainforest, something about the scene struck me as hilarious. I couldn't believe that no one else thought so, since all my classmates were just sitting there, hypnotised by the jungle beat and staring at the tv, mouths agape. I was trying really hard not to laugh out loud, and as I looked up, I caught Amy's eye, who was shaking with laughter too. We kept laughing through the whole thing, so much that we both practically had tears in our eyes, and still no one else in the class seemed to notice. For the rest of the day, me and Amy stuck together and laughed at pretty much everything. This continued through pretty much the rest of my school years. In junior high, people hated us and wouldn't let us sit at their lunch table, because "those girls are always laughing!". But so what, it made us laugh even more. Anyway, I'm glad that the Rain Forests exist, because without them, me and Amy might have hated each other for the rest of our lives.
Yay, that was fun!
Now I tag Kane, Robert, Matt and Diana, and Lisa again, just because!