Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Ah yes. The start of December. There are many things I love about this season, but most beloved of all is "25 Days Of Christmas" on ABC Family Channel. Not only am I super excited for the marathon of animated classics this saturday, but I can't wait for the 300 times they're gonna show Borrowed Hearts. Wait---what's this? They're only showing it once?? Wha?? Once is not enough, you pigs!!
Well, at least this makes me feel better:

Thanks Mariah. You and your crazy leotards and high-heel sneakers always cheer me up, with your sandy blonde hair and your matching skin. P.S., I think that cheerleader behind you has no pupils. Look out, girl! Oh DAMN!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Oh my god, I almost missed Thank God I'm Not In High School Anymore day! Whew, I'm getting these in just under the wire. I decided to post only dance pictures for now, since I thought it would be fun to have another day similar to this, where we can post other humiliating pictures from just a regular teen-aged day.
So here we go.

I call this one Western Harlet. Here I am, the very picture of elegance, straight out of a saloon in 1856. This was for my boyfriend Shecky's junior prom. You can see more of him here, coming soon to a theater near you. He plays Matt, apparently.
Anywhoo, I loved my dress, it's a Bestey Johnson. I wanted to look like a ballerina from a Degas painting, but instead I ended up an old west mess. i wore this dress a few years later to my friend Rob's prom, to much better results. But no sense in posting those. Now on to the next one...

Homecoming 1994. See the massively disappointed look on my face? Yeah, I wasn't so thrilled on this occasion. I was mad that my date Adam didn't dress up, and sad that Jen (far left, in the cape. Yay Jen! So goth.) got stood up by her date. OK, he DID call to say he couldn't make it, but still. Weak. Fucking weak.
But I was wearing a sparkly black dress that I borrowed from Lisa, and a pair of character shoes that I probably stole from Meadow Theater. Nice necklace too. The 90's were stylish times.

Now this is what I'm talking about! This is my senior prom picture, and boy is it telling. Here's me and Paul, my high school boyfriend, and we're completely stoned. Sorry mom, it's true. Come on, it's written all over our faces! We look retarded. I wore white stripper shoes with my sequined red dress (which I still love, since I was the only one not in pastel, and wearing something short. Hey Lisa did too! Maybe it's an Armsweat sisters thing. We like to stand out in the crowd!)
So moments before this picture, I broke the rose off of the stem on Paul's butteniere, and then stabbed myself multiple times with the straight pins to try to make the thing adhere to his lapel, to no avail. He pretty much just stood there smiling pretty much just like he is in this picture. I just wanted to sit back down and finish the lovely meal that had just been served to us when we got called for our picture. I had the munchies. I probably stank like pot smoke and rotisserie chicken in this picture.
So there we go! Who's up for either round 2, OR a new theme day??

Monday, November 21, 2005

Here's what I think.
Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire: changed a lot of the story, didn't like Moody's eye, Moaning Myrtle is a whore, but overall a kick-ass movie.
Walk the Line: Joaquin Phoenix needs to change his name back to Leif. What's he trying to hide? Want to see this one, since The Cash kicked ass, but Reese Witherspoon needs to have her chin shortened. Her-"Baby, baby, baby!" Me-"Have a doctor fix your face."
Zathura: I didn't like Jumanji the first time I saw it.
Rent: No no no. The music to this one makes me feel ill. Especially that "Five Million twenty five thousand six hundred minutes..." crap. See? I don't even know the songs, but I've seen the damn AIDS-infested commercial so many times I know some of the damn words. Jeez. Shut up you diseased hipsters, you scare me.
Chicken Little: I want to see it, kinda. But I think I'll wait till it's on DVD or something. No movie is worth being in a crowded theater at a kids movie at christmas time.
Derailed: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.....Jennifer Aniston......Zzzzzzzz.......Why do people love Clive Owen so much?......Zzzzzzzzzzzz....Aniston...........Zzzzzzz.....Roll Credits.
Get Rich or Die Tryin: I can't understand one word that comes out of this guy's mouth. Plus I didn't like 8 Mile the first time I saw it.
Aeon Flux: Even the previews for this one look boring to me. Keep off the grass!! Ha ha! *fart*
Yours, Mine and Ours: I didn't like Cheaper by the Dozen the first time I saw it. No wait, I didn't see it, but I STILL know I didn't like it.
Cheaper by the Dozen 2: See above. Also, can someone in Hollywood please tell the others to stop making these movies about stupid dads who never heard of condoms and slutty moms who can't keep their legs closed? Enough already.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

OK Lisa, I'll play your game!
Let's see what Tricia needs.....
1.Tricia needs affection, stability and devotion, not charm and empty words. Tricia needs help, needs therapy, not the electric chair. This one is from a site named Princsstrish's Palace. 20 bucks says this girl reads Cathy cartoons and looooooves chocolate!
2.Tricia needs constant assistance to meet her personal care needs like dressing,toileting, bathing and eating. This one is true. I also wet the bed alot. ALOT. I guess my "toileting" needs work.
3.Tricia needs to apoligies for being mean to us. Okay, I'm sorry whoever you are. Now open a dictionary you stupid fucks.
4.tricia needs a nappie, tricia needs a nappie. This one's my favorite!
5.Know the campaign needs the money, but Tricia needs some clothes. Anyone want to
start "Togs for Tricia"?
Yeah, that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!!
6.Confidently Tricia conquers the dog walk. Descending the A-frame, Tricia needs to
hit the contact zone. After exiting the tunnel, Tricia sails over a bar jump.
All my life I've dreamed of sailing over a bar jump! I'm glad that I apparently accomplished this after exiting the tunnel. Also, I think I am a dog in this one. Cooool.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

I took the 80's character quiz today.
Apple Jack
You are Apple Jack from My Little Ponies! You love
fantasy and like to get lost in totally
unrealistic adventures. In the end, though,
you're all about goodness and truth and
partying at the Dream Castle with loads of good
(multicolored) friends.

Which Forgotten 80s Cartoon Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I was kinda of hoping for Lemon Meringue from "Strawberry Shortcake", b/c if you fart on a meringue, well it absorbs the scent. This is very funny to me.

Friday, November 11, 2005

NO!! Arrested Development has been cancelled. They announced it this morning, and it's definite.
I'm so sad!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

I really hate TV and whoever is in charge of it. I just read that Fox has temporarily cancelled Arrested Development during the weeks around sweeps week, and will be replacing it with reruns of Prison Break. This makes no fucking sense to me. It not only means that the only show I really look forward to anymore will be delayed yet again (like it has been for most of the season so far), but it also means that Fox cut down the number of episodes they are going to film. So now instead of a full 22-episode season, it'll be more like a 12-14 episode season. That fucking sucks!!! Not to mention that anyone who is trying to support the show and watch it won't know when the hell it's on, and will forget about it and go back to watching some fucking reality show. I usually don't care enough about tv to be this mad, but this is Arrested Development!!
BTW, PRISON BREAK??? How many episodes can they actually HAVE a prison break? Seems like it'll get kinda old.

"Curses!! Foiled again!! That is....until next week....."
Oh hell. At least I'll be able to catch up on whatever those clever and not-at-all aging ladies on Wisteria Lane are up to, and maybe if I'm lucky I can see Dr. 90210 do yet another breast implant operation to some pathetic slut with low self-esteem! YAY!

"Hey, when I hold my head like this, you almost can't see that I've had tons of Botox and cheek/chin implants!! Tee-Hee!! I'm so youthful!"

So..............anyone know of any good books I can read??

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Kane and I just went to the mall to grab some dinner and pick up a gift certificate for my boss's birthday. On the way home, we drove through a busy section of downtown Scottsdale with the windows down, blasting the theme from Gremlins. We laughed and laughed and laughed. We passed a rather unhappy looking gang of thugs, who I hope after we drove past had this exchange:
"Shit nigga, did y'all just hear the music from Gremlins comin' outta dat car?"
"Fuck yoseff, Bitch."

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Yay Wednesday night! Tomorrow I have the day off, so tonight I'm gonna party like it's.........Wednesday night!
I came dangerously close to adopting a dog tonight that looked like this:

Except she wasn't wearing a cut-up old sock. Then I put my foot down, and said I'd never get a dog that was from a puppy store in a mall, and that's FINAL. Plus, she was a lot of money. I won't say how much, but I started trying to figure out how much room I might have on each of my credit cards to buy her. I can't bear the thought of my little could've-been-baby sleeping in a glass window in that horrible pet store. She needs love and kisses, and a really fat orange cat named Fizzie to bond with. But I must be patient, the right dog will come along, and she'll be from a shelter and really, really need a loving home and a fat orange cat named Fizzie to bond with. In the meantime, Fizz will have to wait too.

I also want to say congratulations to Lisa, for getting a kick ass start on her book! I keep forgetting the name of the NanoMoBook thing she's doing, but dammit, she's off to a great start! Keep up the good work my sister, and one day maybe Hilary Swank will star in the movie version. Or maybe Charlize Theron, since she's the new Oscar-buzz girl. We should only be so lucky to have Charlize! She's from South Africa, you know.
Pip, pip! Cheerio!

*for British eyes onlyyyyyyy!*