I am so sick of those commercials for Charmin with the bears taking shits out in the woods, and they're drawn all shakey and "quirky". Come on, there's no way to cuten them up, they're pooping! It's gross! And I'm not completely sold that bears are so concerned with wiping their asses anyway. And if they are, they CAN'T give a damn about how soft their toilet paper is. They maul campers and hikers, for god's sake. (Also, is this how they get their TP? Or do they have to go to the store with the money stolen from the wallet of the camper they just ate, and buy the Charmin Ultra Mega-Roll toilet paper? They could just bite the checkout clerk and steal it, you know. Hmmmm. I think I'm on to something.)
Anyway, fuck those commercials.

Cha-cha-cha! Charmin!

Why do I want to leave AZ, you ask?
Perhaps this well give you an idea.
Report: Arizona leads nation in overall crime rate

Arizona dropout rate worst in U.S.

Apparent heat-related deaths in metro Phoenix up to 29

So apparently, people are too busy doing drugs and shooting and robbing each other to raise their children who then drop out of school, who then are too stupid to learn how to handle the hot weather and die. Or there's always scenario 2: people are too busy doing drugs and shooting and robbing each other to raise their children who then drop out of school, who are too stupid to learn how to swim and drown in their own pool. OH shit, I'm sorry these poor kids never get the chance to drop out of school! (I would have put this first, but today there were actually NO pool drownings. This is surprising b/c every day at least one dumb ass toddler wanders out to the pool after their drunk mother passes out, and drowns. Oh, what a shame. *Yawn*)
By the way, all of these articles are from today. Niiice.

Why do people keep movin here??

Ewww. I have that Britney Spears song "You Drive Me Crazy" in my head right now. I completely blame it on Comedy Central, who keeps showing that goddamn awful movie Drive Me Crazy, starring Melissa Joan Hart (aka cock-eyed bitch) and that lame guy who was supposed to be the new Heath Ledger. Good luck with that one, jerk. I think Comedy Central needs to re-evalute their definition of COMEDY, and stop showing this movie and also She's All That. Please...just...stop.
So I started my new job today! I am training to be the new production manager at Pagecentre, Inc. I basically am doing layout for large-scale books and directories. So far it's going well, although there's so much to learn it's hard not to get totally overwhelmed. But the girl who is training me is super nice, and I'll have my own office (with a window that actually opens!) and I'm making better money than I was expecting to! YAY!
I am just so happy and relieved to have a job, I was starting to get panicky there. I went 3 weeks with no job, but I still managed to get my bills paid and I have enough for rent this month too, but not much else. I apparently went a little overboard with money over the past 2 weekends, going to movies and out to dinner and stuff. But it's cool, at least I know now that a paycheck won't be far away!
And now it's time for family photos!

Here's me at one of my birthday parties, probably around age 7 or 8, judging by the Jem tablecloth. Look at me, acting like some kind of big shot. I notice no one else is even looking at my "hilarious" antics. Big shout-out to Sara, who's all slouchy in the front, with her bathing suit hanging off her shoulder. She was my first friend when my family moved to Belford and I went to Bayview School, and we got our seats separated more times than I can count.

Here's the time my dad pushed the recliner back too far and it fell over. I think he was probably yelling "Oh Christ!". He took it pretty hard in the head since he collided with the closet door behind him and knocked it off the tracks, but we all had a good laugh anyway.

It's Halloween in July, bitches!!!!!! Here's me as a hula girl and Lisa as a ballerina with a kick-ass tan at our pool club. I think I was about 4 here. I don't know why we're standing in that alley, maybe we were waiting to mug someone or something.
And that's my blog!

Friday night we had a full night. First, to see "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" at Imax, then to the Harry Potter book release party at Barnes and Noble. (Buck, shut the hell up!! You baby gorilla.)
The movie was so good. I know I am biased b/c I love Tim Burton and Johnny Depp so much, and I really don't like the original "Willy Wonka", but say what you will, I loved the movie. Oh, and before anyone comments about how it sucks that they re-made the movie, just save yourself the trouble and go back to posting on some gay message board about it. It's based on the original book, not the movie. Now go jerk off to The Matrix.
The theater was so crowded that every seat in the place was filled. Kane got stuck sitting next to some awkward girl wearing low-rider jeans and who kept leaning forward to talk to the people she was there with. I tried to get a picture of her massive asscrack, but alas the armrest was in the way. But from Kane's face, you can tell it was lovely.

Diana_brianna
Originally uploaded by moetricia.

After the movie we all went over to Barnes & Noble. It was from 10-midnight, and then they started passing out the books. So many people were all dressed up, and they were also giving away free Potter glasses and forehead tattoos (not real ones thank god.) at the front. Here's Diana and Brianna, killing time watching one of the movies in the CD section. *Brianna made those scarves, they came out good! YaY Brianna!

Hagrid_dork
Originally uploaded by moetricia.

"So what did you do last night dude?"
"Oh, you know, went to a bar, picked up on some hot chick and got it on all night. The usual."
"Really? Where'd the fake beard come from, man?"
"Ummm, shit, I don't know. I must have gotten so wasted I....I can't remember. Ha ha!" *nervously wipes sweat from brow.*

typo
Originally uploaded by moetricia.

Dear Staff at Barnes & Noble,
I appreciate your decorating the entire store to look like Hogwarts, and your homemade murals and such. But come on, there's like 500 copies of the book laying around, and you still fucked this up?

me_matt
Originally uploaded by moetricia.

It started getting really hot in the store, and I was sick of dodging kids running through the aisles screaming different spells at one another and thrashing their wands around wildly. Could the Pope be right, IS Harry Potter eeeevil?
Matt doesn't seem to think so!

kid_beer
Originally uploaded by moetricia.

I thought this kid was drinking a beer. He is wearing a wife-beater though, and he's completely mystified not by the magic of Potter Mania, but by Million Dollar Baby, starring Hillary Swank and the Mummy, er, Clint Eastwood.

bored_kid
Originally uploaded by moetricia.

I love taking picture of random, bored children. Especially when their moms are behind them wearing the Harry Potter glasses, and probably dragged their kid out to stay up past midnight because "he" had to have his Harry Potter book!

griffindor
Originally uploaded by moetricia.

Brianna and I wandered over to the kid's section to put on the Sorting Hat and get sorted into houses. I got put in Gryffindor! You can tell by my tired smile I was totally fucking psyched!

slytherin
Originally uploaded by moetricia.

Brianna got Slytherin. She was not happy about it.
Then we had to haul ass out of there, because there were actualy "kids" wanting to put on the sorting hat. *Note to self: get checked for head lice.

jen_book
Originally uploaded by moetricia.

Jen lost interest and found something else to pass the time...
Good choice, Jen.

half-blood_Princess
Originally uploaded by moetricia.

After a couple of hours waiting, we finally got our books and beat it the hell out of Barnes and Noble to go home and read. No, I'm nowhere near done yet. But with my belly full of junk food and my mind swimming with all the wondrous sights I saw, I drifted off to sleep, clutching my new tome tightly and praying I'd never hear kids screaming "Expecto Patronum!!" again.

"Hey Gladys, I just shit my pants on Santa's lap. For serious!"

Well, I just got a letter from the insurance company about my storage unit burglary that they are denying my claim. Apparently since there are no signs of forced entry into my unit, the insurance company isn't going to help me at all with the $2,500+ worth of stuff that was stolen from me.
Seriously, I think it is ridiculously unfair and maybe not so surprising, seeing how nothing seems to work out for me lately.
Optimism = gone.

Hello!
Sorry it has been so long since I last updated my blog--I've been without internet on my computer. (But now, thanks to Robert, I am free to surf for all the porn I want! Should I ever want to, that is.)I've also been spending 99.9% of my time looking for jobs, since I am currently without one. I'm hoping that will change this week, since I have applied to so many things that at least ONE is bound to give me a call. I hope. Gulp.
It's cool though, I'm handling my jobless-ness much better than I thought I would. I'm doing okay with money, and I've also been the most well-rested I've been since forever. Or at least since I got my hands on some Hybernol back in '99.
I've also had plenty of time to work on stuff for my website, so I'm hoping to photograph and upload it this week. Still only one sale on my website, but I'm hoping once word gets around to one day have at least 2-3 sales! So wish me luck with all the tens of dollars I'll be earning from my site this year.
Anyway, in the spirit of my new optimistic attitude, here are some things that make me smile:

Cute, chubby bulldogs who just lumber around, waiting for someone to drop any kind of food.

Seeing Kane get completely tackled by screaming & laughing children, who are pretending to be police dogs guarding their newly-captured prisoner.

Sweet little babies who ignore the noisy game and instead meticulously pick up pennies and dimes dropped from Kane's pockets and hand them to me, one by one and smiles the biggest smile you've ever seen when she is finished.