Today Kane sent me a link to a website of "Celebrity Look-Alikes". So far I think I've looked at almost everyone on the site, and maybe, MAYBE like 2% of the people actually look like the celebrity they think they resemble. There's one that's supposed to look like Johnny Depp, but the picture only shows the guy's nose and eyes, and he's wearing black sunglasses. You can't even see his face! That'd be like me submitting a picture of my cheek and saying "Don't I look like Reese Witherspoon???".
Not only that, but I think every slut with a boob job thinks she looks like Pamela Anderson, every fat guy with a beard thinks he looks like Pavoratti, and every blonde bimbo thinks she looks like Marilyn Monroe. Sorry Losers. You are just very very sad. Especially you people who idolize Marilyn Monroe. I think girls like that have some serious underlying issues. Why would you idolize someone who was a crummy actress, who had the most annoying breathy voice in history, who slept with everyone, even the president and who died of a drug overdose? (OK, there's theories that she was killed, but I couldn't really give two shits about that "Theory". I have a theory that I'm sick of seeing fucking Marilyn Monroe all over the goddamn place!) Speaking of which, me, Kane, Lisa and Tom went to this party at this girl's house once, and her bathroom was like a shrine to Marilyn. Very unsettling. When I went in there there were a bunch of candles lit, and pictures of Ms. Monroe, all over EVERYTHING. There were piles of books about Marilyn Monroe on the floor next to the toilet, and even the shower curtain was staring at me through Marilyn's drugged-out eyes. It felt like I had stepped into some sort of religious ceremony, in which my pee was the last key ingredient to raise Marilyn Monroe's spirit from the dead. I half expected a scene like in Wierd Science when they have that indoor hurricane before the door bursts apart and Kelly LeBrock walks in. Only this time, it'd be Marilyn. AHHHHH!!!!
So here's the link to the site.
http://www.lookalikes-susanscott.co.uk/Menu%20lists%2003/hollywood.htm
This page goes to the Hollywood section, but if you click on main menu, you can find more lookalikes that are equally shitty. Oh, if you actually do click on this link, be sure to look at Jean-Claude Van Damme. The guy really does look like him, it's wierd. Too bad he's in the minority though.
Sincerely,
Sigourney Weaver, choking on a milk dud while sittin in the dirt outside a kindergarten classroom.

P.S. Also, just because you put black rimmed glasses on your retarded kid DOES NOT mean he looks like Harry Potter. Leave your fucking kid alone and stop trying to squeeze your 10 seconds of fame out of him!!