Wednesday, July 23, 2003

One time, when me and Kane were driving home from lunch, I made up this character and made him laugh so hard he had trouble driving. I have no idea where this idea came from, but sometimes you just gotta let things happen. I pretended I was an Italian girl who was adopted by a Japanese family when she was a baby, so she speaks with a japanese accent and has trouble with English. She is also obsessed with Whoopi Goldberg, and her favorite movie is "Jumpeen Jack Frash". Except I don't know any Japanese, so I just pretend I do but yelling out words like "Tomagachi!!" and "Yu-Gi-OH!!!!" and giggling uncontrollably. Someday I want to make a short film about her, like a documentary, and in the background of every scene I want a poster from a different Whoopi Goldberg movie, like "Theodore Rex" or "The Color Purple", only all the writing would be in Japanese. I'm guessing posters like that would be hard to find though, so I'd probably have to make them in Photoshop or something. Better get started now!
I make up wierd characters a lot, I guess. Another time I was hanging out with Lisa and I made up a character who is half human- half unicorn. I don't think I made up a name, but lets call her Stompy. Stompy has a horn growing out of her forhead and slurs her speech, and can tell you all you've ever wanted to know about life as a half-unicorn. Again, I don't know where this came from, but it really freaked out Lisa.
Another character I do is an old man with a Scottish accent, who lived in Allaire State Park in New Jersey in the early 1800's when it was just a settlement and he was just a lad. Then I go off on a tangent about the horrible day in 1836, when the local kids "thumped Billy!" in a snowball fight that turned brutal. They thumped him to death, then dragged his lifeless frozen body through through the snow, tied to a horse-drawn carriage, "I was there, and I SAW YA LAUGH, ya Wee BASTARD!!!!". Me and Lisa made this one up after we went to Allaire Village and we saw a Rockwell-esque painting there along one of the paths depicting a winter scene with a big snowball fight, except all the kids were aiming at one boy, so that's Billy Allaire. This was back in 1995, and I still add to the story all the time, getting more and more graphic about the way he died, and about his poor starvin' mum, "who waited all night for young William to return home for his evenin' meal, only to find out her youngest son's icy doom the next morn'. And I SAW YA LAUGH!!!!". I usually scream that last part right in Lisa's or my mom's face, and try not to laugh when they start cracking up.
I guess this stuff's not really funny unless I can do the "bits" for you in person. You know what, come on over some time. All of you! Sure! I'll make us waffles with butter and we can drink soda! Yeah!!!

P.S. I really didn't have anything to write about today.
:)

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