Sometimes I worry that I am a chronic shopper. I buy way more than I need, and although I have gotten so much better, I still head to a store to fight any boredom. I'm also a little bit of a pack rat, and like to keep everything. That's gotten better in the past few years too thank god. Anyway, I was worried, until I saw this. If my house ever looked like that, I would have to just set the fucking thing on fire and leave town.

You know that Kenny Rogers song, The Gambler? Of course you do! Anyway, the story that Kenny's singing about totally happened to me once. Except the train was not bound for nowhere, it was heading to Matawan. And the guy who gave me all the cool advice didn't die, he just fell asleep. But to make it match up with the song better, I killed him. No, I am just kidding. I really just punched him in the mouth twice.
I never got to eat at a Kenny Roger's Roasters restaurant, maybe they're all closed down. But I bet their chicken was pretty good.

You'd think with all this talk about Kenny Rogers, I'd be listening to some of his music. But actually I'm listening to "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen. Funny, huh?

Say hello to my new favorite shoes--->

I don't think Kane likes them, cuz he thinks leopard print is kinda trampy, but I loooove them. I wanna wear them everyday. Plus, $10. Can't beat that with hammer.
Today I worked really hard on making some rings for my website, and I'm really happy with the results. I made one with silver wire and amethyst, but I can't seem to get a good picture of it. But here's the one I made with a little pink flower on top. It's swarovski crystal and sterling silver.

The picture's still kinda blurry, so I need to figure out how to take better close-up pictures.
Other than that, it's business as usual. Just listening to the Annie soundtrack, and getting all teary to "Maybe(Reprise)". Be strong, Daddy Warbucks.
Anyway, I'm off to do some laundry and watch some Northern Exposure. Typical Sunday night stuff.
Now fuck off, Punjab!

Ahhh, Elvis background. I love you, Elvis. You can keep me company when I blog.
So last night Lisa came over and I cooked her dinner. I made spaghetti with my special homemade sauce. Mmmmmmmyummums. While we were eating, we watched American Idol. I know, I know. I still HATE these shows, I promise, but I do enjoy the bad auditions at the beginning. They're the only things worth watching in my book. Anyway, there was this awesome guy named "Flawless", and he wore really loud pajamas and owned a housecleaning service. I don't think I can describe him quite accurately enough to make this funny, but when he was interviewed on camera about his business, he said,"Our slogan is ummmmm....Uhhhhhhh...when you come home, ummmmmm with your home, your house will, uhhhhhhhhh smell like......it's gonna smell like a paradise. Yeah.". Then he proceeded to repeat this to another nerdy guy there who was selling some kind of floating coasters, and sang "If I Only Had A Brain". Swear to god. They both talked about how they are entrepeneurs. It was classic tv. There was also a shot in the preview of the next episode of this big fat man/woman/thing with green hair and a green shirt, and Simon laughing and telling it,"You look like the Incredible Hulk's wife!!". Lisa and I were laughing so hard we both peed on my floor. Okay, that's a lie, but still, it was funny.
We also saw a few minutes here and there of Skating With Celebrities. About as much as we could stand, although Todd Bridges IS quite popular with us! But as we watched it, it hit me, doesn't this seem like something right out of UHF?? Even the commercials do and everything! I bet when Weird Al made that movie, he had no idea that one day tv would really be like that.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, Mr. TODD BRIDGES (except I would pronounce it tOad brEEEyes)!

Today I think I grew up a little bit.
For the past 7 1/2 years I've been trying not to think about something that I knew deep down I would have to eventually face, and it scares me more than anything. My mother had a brain aneurism back in 1998, and these things are hereditary. It is because of this that I became a hypochodriac for so many years. Granted, I'm mostly over throwing myself into a total state of panic and anxiety over the slightest little ache or pain, but it's still there a little bit. I never went to anyone for help, like I probably should have, because I was so scared at the very thought of letting myself relive what happened to mom. My sister and I were told that we should be tested for aneurisms, and both of us decided not to, that we'd rather not know. Just let it happen in the off-chance that something will happen. But as I am now older, my view on this has changed. It's not only me who I'd be affecting by not getting tested. I'd be affecting Kane, my sister, my family and my maybe-one-day kids. I shouldn't live selfishly anymore by saying I don't care and just ignoring the problem. I don't want to just disappear one day anymore. I really want to be healthy and stick around, and if I do have one, I want to do what I have to to fix it. Today I had my blood test to see if my body can handle the dye they need to give me for the MRI, and I should get the results back next week. And then my doctor is going to schedule the appointment for me and I'm going to do it finally.
This may not sound like a big deal, but for me it is a giant step to finally letting my mind rest from being so keyed up for all these years. Plus I've never had a major test like this before, so that's terrifying too. But I can do it. I need to deal with this, so all of those scary memories can finally just be in the past once and for all.
I have been trying to not be scared tonight, with lots of help from Kane and also by making chocolate cupcakes and watching the Golden Globes. It worked too. But now I feel kind of sick from eating like 10 spoonfuls of buttercream frosting while I was making it, because I put too much salt in it and so I had to keep adjusting the icing and tasting it. Icckkkk. Blaaaaaah. Don't eat too much frosting, kids.
Anyway, I am off to bed because I am just physically and mentally exhausted. But if anyone would like to help cheer me up, I am accepting donations of Affenpinschers.

I'd call this one Smudge, and I'd give him some beef jerky and a tiny little safari hat.
Okay, now I go to bed.

Tonight I remembered something as Kane and I were traveling home from our lovely dinner at Cracker Barrel. Which was delicious, in case you were wondering.
Anyway, I am very fuzzy on the dates and location, but here's the story. My family went on a camping trip to upstate NY, sometime around 92 or 93, which makes me about 13. So we drove the 7 hours to upstate New York, towing our pop-up camper behind our trusty blue station wagon. We made up there, and the four of us set up camp at a KAO campground and prepared ourselves for a week of fun and laughter. So Lisa had this boyfriend st the time, Steve. She and Steve were pretty much inseperable, and after we had been camping for oh, say 4 hours, Lisa began to miss Steve somethin' fierce. She sulked, and called him on the pay phone up at the KOA lodge, and sulked a little more. After only a few days, she was so sad and miserable, that old Steve got on a train and came all the way up to where we were camping so he could stay with us the rest of the week. I took this as a complete personal rejection. Lisa and I had always been partners through all of these kinds of trips, laughing at dad's fart jokes, laughing at mom's narrations as she filmed prime tourist attractions with the video camera, laughing at passersby and funny statues and names of things, just mainly laughing in general. She was my comrade, and now I was left alone with my parents, ditched, while Lisa and Steve had a grand old time. Not that I didn't like Steve, and I knew they weren't gonna exclude me completely, but I still felt betrayed. So what does a 13 year old Trish do, when left to her own devices after being abandoned by her best friend? A few minutes after Steve got there, I walked on over to the campground general store and bought myself a little can of Kraft Grated Parmesan Cheese, and ate the whole thing. I sat on a picnic table out in front of the store, and methodically poured grated cheese into the palm of my hand, and dipped my finger into it and ate it. I don't remember anything after that about that trip. But I remember how hard cheese made of cows milk became my new best buddy.
Hey, I never said this was gonna be a GOOD story.

I was driving home from Lisa's tonight when "I Am What I Am" from the movie "Popeye" came on my player. Such amazing lyrics. They are seriously life-changing. I've gotten many of my life philosophies from this song, including," I ain't no physicisk, but I knows what matters..." and "To be or not to be, who's Aksing?!!" I think it's time to watch "Popeye" again. I have had a hard time watching this movie since moving to Arizona, because it reminds me so much of home. It's just a really New Jersey movie for me. It's one of my all time favorites though, and I can't deny my love for Sweet Pea, Wimpy and Bluto any more. And yes, I know I've written about this movie before. I just love it, okay??
I wonder if I lost my Dell Jukebox and someone found it, what would they think of me according to what's on my player? "Popeye" soundtrack, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer(only it's sung in German, and never stops being funny to me), Popcorn by Hot Butter, lots of Nine Inch Nails, The Heat Of The Moment by Asia, music from "Jesus Christ Superstar", Wesley Willis, and a lot of really old music from the 30's and 40's, plus more completely non-related stuff. Would they think I'm a total crazy person? Would they even know what half of this stuff is? What if they couldn't upload new music to my player, and they could only listen to what I have on there? Would they just throw it out, or would they actually listen, and maybe learn to love the soundtrack to "Cannibal! The Musical"? Hmmmm. These are questions that will never be answered, because if I lost my player I would never find out who found it, and their thoughts about me and my music. They would definitely know I was a girl though. I don't know too many guys who have songs from their old Cabbage Patch Kids record on their players.

I did a google search on Cabbage Patch Kids record, and I found this totally sweet picture of a CPK in SPACE! 3-2-1........BLASTOFF!!! (insert rocket sounds here)

So my bosses are building a new store, and today they broke ground. I hate that term, "broke ground". They didn't break any ground really, they mainly just tore down the little work shop we had out behind the store. It was kinda sweet in the sense that it was completely demolished in front of our eyes and digital cameras, but also kind of sad, because I love the cozy little old building we're in now, and I'm going ot be very sad to see it go. The new store will be built on the lot behind out current one, and our current store will be levelled and made into a parking lot. Our store is one of the oldest remining buildings in Old Town Scottsdale, where everything is renovated and modernized. (Ironic, isn't it!) Some things are made to look old sort of, so I guess 2 points for tryin'. But I guess the city has complained that our building is an "eyesore" and that it doesn't fit in to the area. Probably because it isn't stucco and painted desert peach with a fucking Kokopelli on the side of it. Our building is so cute and cozy, with old iron gates and climbing ivy and christmas lights all year long. It is surrounded by trees and bouganvilla and is home to 4 stray kitties who have adopted us.
Anyway, today being the first step towards a new store, everyone stood outside and watched the little workshop be smashed to rubble by a guy in a bulldozer. Lauren and I laughed because the guy driving the bulldozer had a cigarette hanging off his lip the whole time he took the place down. Maybe it feels so much cooler that way. That's probably how I'd do it. Shot of whisky, light a cigarette, then announce "Let's do this." and take the place down. Afterwards, I'd go to Hooters for lunch. See if they have a "Demolition Special" or something.