Gold teeths is hard to come by. Fake ones, that is. Kane is being Jack Sparrow (POTC) for Halloween, and he needs some gold teefs to complete the illusion. So yesterday I had a day off of work to take Fizzie to the vet to get neutered. (Awww, poor ball-less kitten!). Anyway, while he was at the vet, I went to Buffalo Exchange. In case you don't know what that is, it's a really trendy store where you can sell or trade your old clothes, IF they are deemed "cool" enough by the various gay men and anorexic girls who look down on you, umm, I mean work there. So I brought a couple of old t-shirts and jeans, which they bought surprisingly. Usually they look at my old crap and pull it apart, telling me why they don't want my stuff in earshot of whoever's around, and it's pretty embarassing to have them loudly point out a mustard stain on the crotch of your old pants. Anyway, Buffalo Exchange is really overpriced, considering the majority of what they sell is all old and used. They do have some new stuff, and yesterday they happened to have some new Halloween stuff. I was killing time by going through their endless supply of mullet wigs and Austin Powers teeth, when a glimmer of gold caught my eye. It was a snap-on gold tooth, and fortunately it was in a sealed package, NOT previously used by some "funny" abercrombie guy who went as a pimp last Halloween, and had some of his skinny blond abercrombie girlfriends dress up as "sexy" prostitutes. Yeah, get used to that costume, girls, prepare for what your drunk-ass future holds! But I digress....
I was pretty excited to find it, because I'd been going around to stores for a while trying to find some gold teef for Kane, and it just so happened it was the last one there! SCORE! The only thing was, it cost $8. Pretty costly, since it's really just a piece of gold foil, but whatever. Nothing's too good for my baby! So I bought it and gave it to Kane last night and he tried it on, and guess what? The fucking thing doesn't work. You'd think for $8 you'd be able to get a fake gold tooth that stays on your teeth, but apparently not. It stays in if he keeps his teeth clenched, but how's a nigga supposed to bob for apples or drink rum straight from the bottle like that??
Oh well, maybe he can glue it on with a lil' Dentu-grip(TM).
And just in case you were wondering, Fizzie's fine. He's currently recovering in my bathroom, since there's less stuff he can try to jump up on in there. It was funny because he was still all groggy when I got him home yesterday, and when he tried to take a drink from a bowl of water, he misjudged the distance and dunked his whole face in there.
>^..^< "meow!"