Today Taryn gave me a catalog called "Toscano", which contains some of the ugliest shit you've ever seen in your life. Here is "The Goddess Laurel" wall sculpture, which has got to be the ugliest piece of wall art this side of my grandma's house. I never knew that trees had crotches, and rather ample bosoms. You can put this in your son's room to scare him into submission, and you can leave it there straight on through puberty so mother nature can be responsible for your son's sexual awakening. Just don't be surprised if you get a call from his school that your kid has been humping trees during recess.