Friday, April 15, 2005

My office is on the second floor of a building, and you have two options to get up here. One is you can take the stairs, and the other is you can take the elevator. This elevator's only purpose is so that the elderly and disabled can get up to see their doctor or dentist, who are also on the second floor. It is also good for the UPS or FedEx guys, if they have large packages to deliver. It is NOT for people who are too fucking lazy to walk up one goddamn flight of steps when they are clearly in good enough health to walk. Or for fat people who don't want to lose any of their precious "fat collection". I see this kind of crap more times a day than I can count, and it just gets under my skin and pisses me off.
What's even dumber, I think, is that it takes 3 times as long to take the elevator than it does just to go up the stairs. You have to push the button, and wait for the thing to come down to get your lazy ass, then get in and wait for the super-slow doors to close, then ride up, then wait for the super-slow doors to open, and by this time I could have walked up and down the steps several times.
Come on people. A little tiny bit of exercise won't kill you. Unless that super-sized Big Mac value meal and X-Large soda is just waaaay too heavy for you to carry upstairs, in which case, take the elevator! My god, how did you even get here from the car?? Did someone push you in a wheelchair? You must be tired. Have some more fries.

2 comments:

Lisa Armsweat said...

When I worked at Virgo we were forced to use elevators (21st floor and all) but it was hilarious how many people would attempt to pile on at 5pm. And there was always one person who would make a big deal of saying "Oh, I'M gonna wait for the next one, I'M claustrophobic." Like they were better than the rest of us who would jam together in a furious attempt to be free of the building as quickly as possible.

lengli said...

My old roommate, Kristin (I call her "my friend that always embarasses me in public"), and I used to joke about this sort of thing after watching an episode of Oprah about American obesity. From that moment on, any time we were on an escalator or an elevator, she would start wheezing in manner of a fat person overexerting himself and start yelling: "I'm going to burn a calorie, get me a jelly donut!"

You can imagine the looks we got at the mall, home of many such fat people. It was priceless.