Monday, September 12, 2005

As you might have read on Lisa's blog, we decided to not let the terrorists win THIS 9-11 by shopping at a crappy outlet mall. Sure we may have fought a few "battles", like when my garlic knot from the pizza place in the food court was too cold to eat, or when we had to endure the stench of urine and melting plastic wafting through Claire's Boutique. Or the biggest struggle of all, when Lisa's beloved Rav-4 broke down and left us stranded in Anthem, the whitest town in America, where we were witness to both a drug deal AND many small groups of akward white teenage boys!
But nothing could stop our personal war on Terrorism. We showed those fucking terrorists who's BOSS!
Check this out:

I am the William Wallace of the GAP Outlet!!!!! What's the matter, Osama?? Do the smiling faces on these little socks FRIGHTEN you?!

AMERICA:1, TERRORISTS: 0!!!!!!!! Lisa buys armloads of little kids' jeans in protest!!

All in all, we fought hard, and we came to win, and I think we accomplished that.
AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!!!

3 comments:

lengli said...

Holy shit but your pictures are inspirational. The type that should be put on commemorative plates. For serious, QVC watchers would be on those like white on rice.

brianna said...

That was beautiful.... *sniff* I am truly inspired...

Lisa Armsweat said...

Well done. You truly captured the patriotic "vibe" we had goin' on that day. I am so glad we kept the terrorists at-bay. Who knew GAP was a land of such smug, assertive capitalism? Wow!

Remember: "everytime you hear a register beep, a terrorist gets its wings." No wait. It's "a terrorist gets denied all them virgins he got promised for his glorious death." YEAH! That's it!