I just found out that Darren McGavin died on Saturday. That makes me so sad. Not only was he Ralphie's Dad, but he was Billy Madison's Dad!!! I also had no clue he was 83. It seemed to me like he was permanently in his 50's or 60's.

Farewell, Mr. Parker. You deserve a major award!

Postcard From Beyond The Grave!

Oh Elvis, I miss you too.
Wish you weren't on a fishin' trip on Brokeback Mountain. Come home soon, Darlin.

Yes, another new background. Lately I can't seem to settle on anything, including decorative details.
Anyway, I would like to address this post to the party of 20 15-year-old cheerleaders/sorority girls-in-training at the Olive Garden in Paradise Valley tonight. You know who you are. Listen girls, if you don't want to make Trish mad, please don't interrupt a quiet dinner she is having with her sister to catch up, by shrieking and loudly imitating one another's laughter. Also, any comments about the film "Ever After" can be saved until later in the evening, when Trish is well out of earshot. In addition, leave the phrase,"I'll never forget the first time I saw Miss Congeniality 2..." out of your obnoxious conversation. Yes, we ALL fondly remember the first time we saw that spellbinding Sandra Bullock vehicle, we don't need to hear your story. And another thing, after paying your check for the evening, PLEASE EXIT THE RESTAURANT. Do not get our hopes up that you are leaving by rising from your rolling chairs, unfortunately only to allow one of your many bullimic friends to go reguritate her cannelloni in the toilet. Not fair to make Trish think that she might be able to hear her sister enough to talk to her. Lastly, and most importantly, don't propose to have a scavenger hunt in the Paradise Valley Mall, the same mall that Trish and her sister are planning to go to after they escape your horrible presence. I know you are exited to make up lists of stuff to "scavenge" in the mall, like, a copy of "The Notebook" on DVD or maybe some giant chandelier earrings, but please stop for a moment and think of how unpleasant you have already made the night for those around you. Do not spread the unpleasantness to another locale, and multiply it by 100.
Oh and to the conversation dominating, center-of-attention girl with the black and white dyed skunk hair---you're the fat one! SHHHHH!

I am super tired right now. Today we spent the entire day in Surprise, AZ, at Brianna and Robert's house filming a parody of Brokeback Mountain for Matt and Diana's Oscar Party. The movie stars Kane and Matt, with me and Diana as their wives. Not to mention a cameo by Brianna's adorable new dog Scraps as my and Kane's daughter. We even shot a few scenes out in the desert and I think I ruined my new maryjanes. It was totally worth it though. It's going to look so awesome when it's all put together. Maybe Kane can figure out a way to put it up on his blog or something so everyone can see it.
Anyway, that's it. Nothing else happening over here. I think I have to go sleep now. Goodnight moon.

Happy Birthday, Mom!
To celebrate her birthday, I cooked chicken parmesan and had everyone over to hang out. It was a good time, here's some pictures of the festive-ness!

After dinner we all danced around to some Johnny Cash (as sung by Joaquin Phoenix, who mom declared "doesn't sound like Johnny.") Here's mom, dancing to "Cocaine Blues". Mom rules!

Here's the men watching the dancing, and wondering where else they could have been tonight.

Here's me and mom, right after I peed my pants. I was really excited it was her birthday!

Lisa and Greg helped us clean up, but somehow Lisa ended up with shit all over her face.

You'd be surprised how many nights with my sister end up like this. Actually, maybe you wouldn't.
After mom went home, the four of us watched the Star Wars Holiday special. This is Chewbacca's son, Lumpy.

Precious, isn't he? Yeah, I don't think so either.

Hey, a couple of things:
-if someone is a Johnny Depp wannabe, are they a Johnny-be? Look at these Johnny-bees! Be sure to scroll past page 1, they get funnier.(and sadder)
-Do not come into the bead store I work at with your boyfriend's fishing license and claim that it makes you eligible to buy at wholesale prices and be tax-exempt. The Arizona Dept. of Fish and Game does not grant people tax priveledges. They just say whether or not you can catch some red snapper. STUPID!!! You SO STUPID!!! Plus the license wasn't even hers. WTF.
-I don't understand most of those little codes that people use all over myspace. I got WTF down (see above) and LOL. But what's LMAO and BFRRHTY mean?? How about LYLMDWHZZ? Or ROUS? Did someone teach a class on this stuff and I missed it? (Hey, that last one was a nod to Princess Bride!)
-Did you see all the cool Princess Bride stuff they have on hottopic.com??

Kane, shop there for Valentine's day. I take a size 5X! And size XS pants. I'm not proportioned. And oddly, I can only wear men's socks, because mah size 12 feets don't fit into the ladies' gold-toes. (Did that sound like a euphamism??)