Tomorrow is Lisa's birthday. I got her some cool presents, so if she doesn't like them, I get to keep them. Yes, most nice gestures in our family are feuled by greed. Anyway, I got her a rsklkjsafaf kiooa;aaakds. GOTCHA!!! You thought I was gonna tell you? WRONG!
I think we're all going out to dinner to some italian place, which we usually do every year for our birthdays. It's nice, but gone are the days we'd spend the passing of each year wearing our best rainbow-hearts or fluorescent finery, roller skating to "Kokimo" with 15-20 of our closest friends. I miss having soggy pizza and soda in plastic cups, and getting Barbie or Ninja Turtles presents. Laughing at my friends who roll over their own fingers while trying to lace their rented skates. And laughing with those friends at all the real fat people who lose their balance and fall down. And laughing with those fat people over how super-fun birthdays are!
I still like birthdays, but wouldn't it be more fun to unwrap a new SuperSoaker "Deathshower" 180,000,500 than a new set of kitchen towels? I'm just saying.
P.S. I got Lisa a new set of kitchen towels!!!!!!!! Woooo-HOOOOO! Shhhhhh, it's a secret!