I guess subconsciously this Roy(as in 'Sigfried and...') thing has me runnin' scared. Thankfully I'm not often around tigers or lions or anything. At least not THIS week. But last night I had a dream that I went to the zoo and got attacked by a thing that was a cross between a lion and a baboon. Sure, laugh now, but it was soo scary. I swear to god.

It's been a while since I updated, I've been having trouble with that lately. I log in and get ready to type, with my fingers poised over the ASDF-JKL; keys, but my mind is just blank. Maybe it's been the stress of the past week, I don't know. Anyway, here's what happened.
In case you are new to the blog, I have a two cats, a 4-yr old grey cat named Riley, and a 9 month old orange kitten named Fizzie. Fizzgig is his full name, he's named after the little growling goblin thing in "The Dark Crystal". Anyway, Fizzie has the wierdest personality of any cat I've ever met. He likes to make messes and get into everything and wrestle with his older brother. Riley doesn't mind, I think he's happy having someone to play with and take care of. In fact Riley often carries toys and strings in his mouth to give to Fizzie, and gives him baths by licking him until his fur stands straight up. They're a good pair.
So last Thursday night I got to stop home from work for an hour before I had to go out and meet the people from work for dinner. I was really tired and feeling totally lazy, so I called and cancelled. My boss didn't mind, and so I planned for a night on the couch, watching "Friends" or something and eating spaghetti. Little did I know my night was about to take a turn for the worse.
Lisa called and we started talking about how we wanted to go to Old Navy. We like to shop a lot. We decided it was early enough to go, so she was on her way to pick me up and I went to brush my teeth. Fizzie almost always sits on the sink and watches me brush, and he likes to bat at the water coming out of the faucet. So I heard him come a-runnin' when I turned on the faucet, but when he tried to jump up on the counter, he missed. I was worried because he could make that jump in his sleep, something must be wrong. I turned to look at him and noticed he was limping. I dropped everything and picked him up, and as soon as I did he screamed in pain. I put him on the counter and started checking him over but when I got to his right hind leg, I saw what was wrong. The back of his leg had been torn open, and I could clearly see his muscles and bone. I think I actually screamed, and then stood there as his sad little face looked at me like he was saying "Help.". I had no idea what to do. I didn't want to put him on the floor, I didn't know if I should try to wash off his wound or something, but I looked at it again and it looked about an inch and a half long, so cleaning it probably wouldn't help.
Luckily Lisa was supposed to pick me up right about then, so I ran outside to her car and asked her to come in, something was really wrong with Fizz. She came in and looked at Fizzie, and decided he needed a vet right away. Oh yeah, a VET!! So we got the little guy into his carrier and took him to a 24-hour emergency animal hospital. They said he definitely needed stitches, and wanted to know how it happened. I had no idea, there was no blood anywhere or anything sharp laying around. I asked if maybe my other cat could have done it but the vet said it was too clean of a cut, it had to be something very sharp. $450 and many hours later we finally got out of the vet and took him home. So now the poor thing has a sewn up leg and one of those collars on the looks like a cone, so he can't lick himself. He keeps walking into shit and had a hard time eating and drinking because of it, but he's feeling better now. I still don't know what happened and probably will never know.
Oh, I did find some blood, in the center of my bedspread of all places. And there's no blood anywhere else, and nothing sharp anywhere in, around, or under my bed. Maybe he was abducted by aliens, who carelessly dropped him off in the center of my bed! AHHHH! ALIENS!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....

So I've decided that my new favorite word is buoyant.
" \Buoy"ant\, a. Having the quality of rising or floating in a fluid; tending to rise or float; as, iron is buoyant in mercury."
Here are various ways I plan to use this word on a regular basis:
I am feeling rather buoyant today.
I eat plenty of salt to make myself more buoyant in water.
The sprinkles are buoyant on top of the ice cream.
My doctor says I need to lower my cholesterol AND my buoyancy.
My new favorite word is buoyant.
I'd like to be more buoyant in the future.

And there you have it. Buoyancy.

Last night Kane and I went to a free screening of "Kill Bill" at Scottsdale Fashion Square Mall. It was really crowded, the line stretched down most of the length of the entire mall. We got there 1 1/2 hours before the movie started, and were about in the middle of the line, right in front of the Louis Vitton store. We got to stare at a larger-than-life poster of a bitchy looking J.Lo in pink leather boots while eyeing the wierd movie geeks ahead of us in line. There was a guy with a Jedi braid. No shit, right? Yeah, that guy's gonna be a virgin for a looooong time. And then there was a fat guy in a loud black & blue button-down shirt, and he looked like a thinner version of Harry Knowles from AICN. Then another guy in front of us with a long wavy ponytail and karate-style pants stood there with his arms folded, with a determined look on his face that said to me,"I wish Uma Thurman was my girlfriend...". Behind us was this black lady who kept leaving the line and asking us to hold her spot. I was getting mad because she basically got to go off and shop and eat while everyone else had to wait, and I think it's pretty nervy. Finally the line started moving and right as we got up to the theater, sure enough there was the lady, waiting at the entrance and looking for us to jump back in line. To quote the guy behind us,"Fuckin' weak, Dude.".
We got into the theater and there were all these hip-hop guys from 92.3, because the radio station sponsored the event. They had a mic set up and kept saying shit like,"Yo yo yo y'all ready for a free movie or what??". I'll tell you what I was NOT ready for, I was NOT ready to listen to Chingy blaring in the theater while the sweaty fat guy next to me loudly chewed on a burger and fries and informed both the fat girl he was with and myself that "Kung Fu is sweet!". Not as sweet as that dozen donuts you probably inhaled for lunch, sir.
After a short trivia game where people won 92.3 t-shirts for knowing the names of other Quentin Tarantino movies, "Kill Bill" finally started. I really liked it, it was better than I thought it would be. But no one was lying if they told you it's the most violent and gory movie ever. The only thing was that towards the end there were some really long pauses in the middle of the fights, and when you've been sitting for two hours and you have to pee, you don't appreciate them too much. Other than that, it was a fun campy movie, with lots of amputations and decapitations and spraying blood. Good stuff!
Everyone clapped when it was over. I like that.

So this guy was in the office this afternoon, photocopying some stuff. He doesn't work here but he is a friend of my boss's. He is a nice enough guy, but he's sort of wierd. He's very small and effeminate, and extremely annoying. He is getting married in two weeks and we are making his wedding ring, and he calls every day (no exaggeration) and asks,"Is it ready yet??" or "I don't know, do you think the band should be WIDER??" or "I changed my mind, I don't want that ring anymore, I want something completely different, can you custom make a ring in a week?". He is the most picky pain in the butt guy, but sometimes on a good day he can be alright.
Anyway he was standing around telling Andrea how he saw Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young in concert once, and Joni Mitchell opened for them. I walked by, and said,"Joni Mitchell? I could drink a case of her!!"(naturally referencing her song 'Case of You'. Duh.). Well this guy just completely lost it! He started laughing like it was the funniest shit ever said! Things just suddenly felt awkward to me, and I looked at Andrea, who also looked puzzled as to what was so hilarious. I didn't know what to do because he kept laughing at my lame joke, so I just walked away into my office and shut the door.
He left at some point I guess, cuz he's not here now. Next time I'm gonna tell him the one about how Tom Jones's concert was "Not Unusual"!!!! That's one's a real crowd pleaser!!