Last night we went to a party for our friend Caroline's birthday at the Arizona Puppet Theater. I guess her boyfriend works there, so they were able to have the party in the courtyard outside, and he's also a DJ so had a table all set up and was spinning some toooooones. It was a cool party, definitely unlike any I've been to before. They had a projector with some puppet cut-outs on it, and people kept moving them or making them dance. It was all projected on the wall of the building, it looked so cool. I tried to take a picture of it, but it didn't come out too good.

We also got to go inside and have a little tour of some of the old puppets used at the theater in the 20's and 30's. I couldn't get over how detailed they were, and how well preserved. Some of them were seriously scary though.

Here's Kane admiring some of the nightmares, I mean, puppets.

These puppets were from a 1931 production of "Peer Gynt". If you look closely, the ones in the back kind of look like me and Robert! Scary!
Anyway, the party got too hot(Not hot like, "Awww yea dat's HOT!" but actually hot. Even nighttime in AZ is still 100 degrees.) so we decided to head out early.
Then today I went over to Brianna and Robert's to help finish the Harry Potter bathroom. On my way, I got a pretty nasty flat tire, but luckily it happened after I got off of the freeway, so I was grateful for that. Still though, it was money I didn't plan on spending so that sucked. Also, when I got to the place to pick up my card, I realized I didn't have my credit card with me so I had to pay with debit, which overdrew my account. Ugh. Luckily I was able to transfer some $$ into that account, so maybe I beat those bank people to the motherfucking punch! I hate money.
But I love Brianna's new baby kitten, Sirius!

Here he is after a cool refreshing drink out of the water bowl. Ahhhhhh.
In related news, Fizzie has his own tennis ball now. He plays with it like he's a dog, except he can't carry it in his little mouth. But he loves his ball so much, he can amuse himself for quite some time.

OK, enough pictures. Time for bed. I'll write again soon, but until then, keep your pants dry.

Bullshit!
You are a sexy diva like Jennifer Lopez

There are no two ways about it. You love your fancy finery, and you know how to wear it with oomph. While your appearance isn't dictated by trends, you always look in style and you always work your wardrobe in a sexy way like your soul-mate celebrity Jennifer Lopez. Curve-hugging Diane von Furstenberg wrap dresses paired with jeweled high-heel Dior sandals are practically your uniform, and there's no such thing as dressing down for the weekend for you. But wouldn't it be nice to not have to spend hours getting ready in the morning? Casual chic is something you should attempt on occasion. Go ahead -- try the cropped jeans and flirty flats. Try wearing a natural makeup look. You'll be amazed at what you can accomplish with the hours you save by not getting decked out all the time... like spending more time shopping.

Just in case you were wondering, that's not the picture of her ivillage chose along with their snappy quiz. It's just how I feel being compared to Jennifer Lopez.
Go on, try the quiz. Do it!

Lisa tagged me to do this survey, but I think I already did it, didn't I? Oh hell, here goes nothin'!
6 Weird Things About Me
1. I used to collect antique keys. I still would, if Arizona had any cool old stores like NJ does. I just think old keys are pretty.
2. I am so terrified of the scary old guy from The Poltergeist 2 that if I see him for even a second I feel nauseous.
3. I found out once that I have a really high IQ. Then I forgot what it was. I guess it wasn't really that high then, right?
4. I saw "Kingpin" in the movies 4 times. All on acid.
5. I like to examine my food very closely before putting it in my mouth. I won't eat it unless I've studied it, and made sure it is completely free of anything inedible, uncooked, or otherwise icky. It also must have the proper amounts of topping or sauce (if there is sauce, like spaghetti.) I have to have just the perfect amount in each bite so I don't have any bites with too much sauce or no sauce at all. This especially goes for Lucky Charms cereal. I have to have complementary colored marshmallows on my spoon, otherwise I have to drop the spoonful back into the bowl and start again until I get the colors that I think look pretty together.
6. I'm trying to re-learn how to hula hoop. That shit is hard!

Reading Lisa's post about Garfield reminded me of this page. It's old but I think it still applies. Because Garfield still sucks.

Here's some jerk in a Garfield costume. If I ever see anyone wearing this ever, I swear to god I will beat them with a garden hose.

It's times like these that make life worth living.
Blood Drips Heavily On Newsies Square
Don Knotts and the Newsies, together at last! Here is the summary:
Washed up actor Don Knotts shows up on the back lot of Universal Studios in Hollywood, California in hopes of landing a role in the new Disney movie, Newsies. Unfortunately director Kenny Ortega quickly dismisses Mr. Knotts and has him thrown off the lot. Mr. Knotts is quite upset by the turn of events, so decides to go on a killing spree, believing that if he can't have a role in the movie no one can. He knocks off one newsie after the next, each in a different and unique way.
Here's a list of how some of them die, which is just excellent. You have no idea how much this movie sounds like something I made up! If you knew me at all around age 13 and 14, then you know how I loved dem Newsboys. Okay maybe only my sister and Jen know, but Newsies was both a beginning to my love for Christian Bale, and also a huge source of demented and sarcastic inspiration. Jen and I wrote countless songs about the Newsies, each one funnier than the last, but probably only to us.
Anyway, I need to buy this movie. I already know it will be the greatest film ever made. I mean, one of them shits himself to death! Come on!

Laugh it up now, Newsies, for tonight you DIE.

I better update before no one checks my blog anymore! Sorry guys!
I just got home from Brianna and Robert's house, where I spent most of the day painting the Harry Potter bathroom. We got about half of it done today, the hardest part at least. We painted all of the walls like old stone bricks, and I got a nice start on the enchanted ceiling. There's a full moon at Hogwarts tonight, boys and girls. Tonight, and every night as it is painted there in acrylics. We're going to finish the rest in 2 weeks, and I can't wait to see it finished. So far though, I have to say it looks even better than I thought it would! Gotta remember to take some pictures.
I've spent the past two nights at home by myself, and I have to say it was sooooo nice. Just hanging out with nothing to do and nowhere I had to be. I was planning on going shopping both Friday and Saturday nights, but I am so glad I didn't. Kane had plans with friends both nights, so I just unpacked a little more and watched some movies and some VH1 Teen Star specials. I think I need to spend more time home just relaxing, so should Kane. We have been so busy for like a whole month, we both need a little peace and calm.
It's starting to get too hot here in Arizona already. It makes me very misty for spring in New Jersey, for lots of breezy, warm days and flowers and that earthy, garden smell that everyone's lawn has at this time of year. And rain. I really miss rain. Anyway, Lani, if you're reading this, know that I am so so jealous of you right now! Good luck in your apartment search and if you can, please try to get to Red Bank for the day and wander around a bit for me. Go to Jack's Music and have a salad and some chocolate cake at the Broadway Diner. Buy some cheesy retro stuff at Backwards glances and maybe go see a show at the Count Basie. I'll be there with you in spirit.
Okay, I better go wash some of this paint out of my hair and pick out a movie for me and Kane to watch tonight. Maybe Heathers. I'm in a Heathers mood, I think.

"I'm BA-AAYCK."
-Kyle's cousin Kyle.
Well, I am in the condo now, and I finally got the internet back up and running. It's been one hell of a move, and we're not out of the woods yet. There's still all kinds of crap to be done at the old place, and I need to sell my washer and dryer within the next five days. So if any of you know someone who wants a stackable, tell them to leave me a comment or whatever!
The condo is nice, really really nice. The only problem is, it seems we have an asshole neighbor, who already left a nasty note on my car on my FIRST DAY here. It seems that he owns one of the visitor parking spots, or at least he thinks he does, and how dare I park there??? After all, my need to unload the piles and piles of heavy things from my car to carry up the steps is just not a good enough reason for him to have to park another 10 feet away! Anyway, the guy's a jerkoff, so welcome to the neighborhood, I guess. Either way, we're going to send the note to the homeowner's association, and they can deal with his claim that the visitor's spot is rightfully his. Good luck with that, buddy.
I could bore you with more details of the many pain-in-the-ass things that have been going on, but that's no fun. So instead, how about Britney's baby's skull fracture, huh?? Man, who the hell would imagine that kid being in mortal peril? His parents seem so responsible!

I hope Sean Preston gets taken away from them, because that would be very funny to me. I also hope K-Fed's bitch braids get taken away from him too. And I have a feeling that would be more upsetting to him than losing the kid.
One last thing before I go. Now that there's nationwide attention on the problems with illegal immigrants here in America, is it okay for me to finally say that they should just go the fuck home? Stop stealing all the room from all of those people who are working to be here, doing it the legal way and waiting their turn. It pisses me off. I'm speaking, of course, about all those Swedish immigrants. Just go home already!! We don't want your fucking IKEA's and your goddamn meatballs!! Jeez! I hate the Swedes! They're just a bunch of dirty Svens and Helgas!

Saturday is the big move! I go tomorrow to pay the remaining deposit, and pick up the key. The movers will get here while I'm at work, so that sucks but by Sunday I'll be living it up in our awesome condo. Now I just hope I can get everything packed by then. So the past week I have been one busy little bee, but somehow I have still found the time for a little Photoshop magic!!!


I like that last one so much I made it my myspace background. I'm such a dork.

Kane is out at rehearsal tonight for Trainspotting, and I'm home all by meself. I know I should be packing for the big move which happens next week, but all I can do is watch Northern Exposure, and I can't stop. Last night I made a mad dash to Target to buy Season 4, which came out yesterday. I got home and put it in the DVD player immediately, and since then I have watched 5 episodes. I plan to watch at least 2 more tonight. I can't help it, I am addicted to that show. I wish there really was a Cicely, Alaska, because I would be moving there instead of a condo down the street. Sigh.
As I am typing this, all I can hear is the wind gently blowing throw my bedroom window, and three cats, yowling and growling at each other. There's a black cat at my bedroom window outside, and my two guys can't get enough of him. They're freaking out, but not in an angry way. I think they're making friends or something, because it sounds like they're trying to form words. Riley and Fizzie will talk to the cat outside (let's call him Flufferstuffs) and then Flufferstuffs will answer, and my little fellas will look at each other and then answer again. Observe.


Okay, now they're getting too loud, I better go shut the window before the neighbors get all bent. G'night Flufferstuffs!

Well, we found a condo that is both awesome and affordble, so Kane and I move in on the 6th. I feel like a huge weight is lifted from my shoulders, that I will not have to live in some crappy ghetto apartment. Yay!
I've started going through everything, and getting rid of some of the stuff I have had lying around forever and will never need. It's a slow moving process since I am a huge packrat and feel the need to keep every single scrap of paper or article of clothing that comes into my possession. However, the temptation to replace all of it has already set in. Here's some items that I feel the need to clutter my life with:



Actually, I just ordered that last one. I couldn't help myself.

Well, today I start my search for a new place to live. We have to be quick though, since we have to give our move-out notice, oh, TODAY. Yesterday I found out that my apartment complex raised our rent by about $150 a month, so since it would now cost us over $1000 to live in the same small apartment, we have to get out now (or in 30 days from now to be exact) or be locked into a lease that we can't afford. Ugh. I hate apartments anyway.
But it will be okay. Kane's sister is a real estate agent, and she's on the job looking for condos and houses for rent, and Brianna is coming over today to help with the search. It will be fun, as long as we don't look in Scottsdale. I don't think I can afford Scottsdale anymore, the rents here have all gotten really high.
Well, on the plus side, I do hate my downstairs neighbor here, so that would be a plus with leaving, and I am getting a pretty nice raise (which I think should start with tomorrow's paycheck, I hope!) so that will help with all the moving fees and junk. Thank god. But either way, I dread moving. So not fun. But I can be secure in the fact that someday I will have a home of my own, and I won't have to worry about this type of shit anymore.

Sometimes I do things that I really don't think through. Thankfully it usually works out ok, and yesterday was no exception. Since Kane got his hair cut last week I've been jonesing to snip off my own split ends and have a mini makeover. My hair is just, ugh. It'd be cool if it was either all curls, or all straight, but it's a lot of both. It just hangs, and I have to really fight with it to make it presentable enough to wear down. Usually I give up the fight and put it in a clip or that half-assed ponytail-only-pulled-halfway-through-the-holder thing that resembles a wierd bun.
Anyway, yesterday morning I was tired of fighting. I got up and looked in the mirror and actually said out loud, "ewww.". So I got in the car and drove to the nearest Great Clips, where before I could even second guess myself, I was being led to the chair of a man named Boris who barely spoke english and immediately began to comb my hair into sections and clip them up. He grabbed the scissors and started to begin, and I hadn't even told him what I wanted yet! Stop Boris, you're ruining me! Nooooooo!
I guess he saw the look of horror on my face or the beads of sweat on my forehead, because he slowed his approach and practically whiospered in broken english, "Whaddayou wann?". I told him to cut it to my shoulders, long enough so I could still put it up if I wanted to. In Boris's language, that means "to my chin". He just started cutting away, and with my back to the mirror, the only guage of how he was doing was watching these really long curls float to the floor before my eyes. About 4-5 inches long. I was starting to feel like Jo in Little Women. Except I wasn't selling my hair to save my family. Lisa and mom are doing just fine without my follicles' help, thank you very much.
Finally, Boris spun the chair around and I looked at myself, and I felt better. It wasn't as bad as I was anticipating. Yeah, it was too short, but I could definitely get used to it. This got me thinking, even if the cut sucked so bad and I was really upset, why would it be such a huge deal? People always seem so afraid to look bad, and having fucked up hair is enough to make a few girls I know cry like a kid at summer camp. Hair grows back. Why are people so afraid to change it? Oh yeah, Keri Russell lost her career over her haircut. Oh well, she just wasn't any good to begin with so who cares.

Lani hath taggedeth me. I must answereth her survey.
Four jobs I have had in my life:

1. Party hostess/Chuck E. Cheese himself. Oh how I wished I could have been working in the game room, passing out tokens and sweepin' up a bit. Not pulling half-eaten pizza out of my hair and sweating/freezing in the ice-pack vest inside the Chuck E. Suit.
2. Cashier at a dry cleaner. That job ruled.
3. Jewelry designer/graphic designer/web site master/photographer/office manager/production manager/butt monkey at a fine jewelry company
4. Bead store girl/bookkeeper at Scottsdale Bead, the best job ever!!

Four movies I'd watch over and over:
1. Better Off Dead
2. Shawn Of The Dead
3. Billy Madison
4. Team America

Four places I have lived:
1. Belford, NJ
2. Middletown, NJ
3. Phoenix, AZ
4. Scottsdale, AZ

Four TV shows I love to watch:
I don't watch a lot of current shows, so this list must include some cancelled ones.
1. Arrested Development.
2. The Soup on E
3. Northern Exposure
4. Buffy

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Disneyworld in Florida.
2. Lake George, NY
3. San Diego. Which is Spanish for a Whale's Vagina.
4. Delaware Water Gap, somewhere near or in Delaware. I dunno, it's kind of a blur.

Four websites I visit daily:
1. E!online
2. Go Fug Yourself
3. IMDB
4. blogs

Four of my favorite foods:
1. salad
2. pasta. Any kind as long as it has good sauce.
3. cheese popcorn, the orange kind.
4. pizza

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. In bed
2. Red Bank, NJ
3. Cicely, Alaska
4. In a room full of tiny baby kittens who are all climbing all over me and each other and making little tiny, barely audible meows. Awwwwwww.

Enjoy Aids!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCcd1nJ-Gks&search=ayds

I just found out that Darren McGavin died on Saturday. That makes me so sad. Not only was he Ralphie's Dad, but he was Billy Madison's Dad!!! I also had no clue he was 83. It seemed to me like he was permanently in his 50's or 60's.

Farewell, Mr. Parker. You deserve a major award!

Postcard From Beyond The Grave!

Oh Elvis, I miss you too.
Wish you weren't on a fishin' trip on Brokeback Mountain. Come home soon, Darlin.

Yes, another new background. Lately I can't seem to settle on anything, including decorative details.
Anyway, I would like to address this post to the party of 20 15-year-old cheerleaders/sorority girls-in-training at the Olive Garden in Paradise Valley tonight. You know who you are. Listen girls, if you don't want to make Trish mad, please don't interrupt a quiet dinner she is having with her sister to catch up, by shrieking and loudly imitating one another's laughter. Also, any comments about the film "Ever After" can be saved until later in the evening, when Trish is well out of earshot. In addition, leave the phrase,"I'll never forget the first time I saw Miss Congeniality 2..." out of your obnoxious conversation. Yes, we ALL fondly remember the first time we saw that spellbinding Sandra Bullock vehicle, we don't need to hear your story. And another thing, after paying your check for the evening, PLEASE EXIT THE RESTAURANT. Do not get our hopes up that you are leaving by rising from your rolling chairs, unfortunately only to allow one of your many bullimic friends to go reguritate her cannelloni in the toilet. Not fair to make Trish think that she might be able to hear her sister enough to talk to her. Lastly, and most importantly, don't propose to have a scavenger hunt in the Paradise Valley Mall, the same mall that Trish and her sister are planning to go to after they escape your horrible presence. I know you are exited to make up lists of stuff to "scavenge" in the mall, like, a copy of "The Notebook" on DVD or maybe some giant chandelier earrings, but please stop for a moment and think of how unpleasant you have already made the night for those around you. Do not spread the unpleasantness to another locale, and multiply it by 100.
Oh and to the conversation dominating, center-of-attention girl with the black and white dyed skunk hair---you're the fat one! SHHHHH!

I am super tired right now. Today we spent the entire day in Surprise, AZ, at Brianna and Robert's house filming a parody of Brokeback Mountain for Matt and Diana's Oscar Party. The movie stars Kane and Matt, with me and Diana as their wives. Not to mention a cameo by Brianna's adorable new dog Scraps as my and Kane's daughter. We even shot a few scenes out in the desert and I think I ruined my new maryjanes. It was totally worth it though. It's going to look so awesome when it's all put together. Maybe Kane can figure out a way to put it up on his blog or something so everyone can see it.
Anyway, that's it. Nothing else happening over here. I think I have to go sleep now. Goodnight moon.

Happy Birthday, Mom!
To celebrate her birthday, I cooked chicken parmesan and had everyone over to hang out. It was a good time, here's some pictures of the festive-ness!

After dinner we all danced around to some Johnny Cash (as sung by Joaquin Phoenix, who mom declared "doesn't sound like Johnny.") Here's mom, dancing to "Cocaine Blues". Mom rules!

Here's the men watching the dancing, and wondering where else they could have been tonight.

Here's me and mom, right after I peed my pants. I was really excited it was her birthday!

Lisa and Greg helped us clean up, but somehow Lisa ended up with shit all over her face.

You'd be surprised how many nights with my sister end up like this. Actually, maybe you wouldn't.
After mom went home, the four of us watched the Star Wars Holiday special. This is Chewbacca's son, Lumpy.

Precious, isn't he? Yeah, I don't think so either.

Hey, a couple of things:
-if someone is a Johnny Depp wannabe, are they a Johnny-be? Look at these Johnny-bees! Be sure to scroll past page 1, they get funnier.(and sadder)
-Do not come into the bead store I work at with your boyfriend's fishing license and claim that it makes you eligible to buy at wholesale prices and be tax-exempt. The Arizona Dept. of Fish and Game does not grant people tax priveledges. They just say whether or not you can catch some red snapper. STUPID!!! You SO STUPID!!! Plus the license wasn't even hers. WTF.
-I don't understand most of those little codes that people use all over myspace. I got WTF down (see above) and LOL. But what's LMAO and BFRRHTY mean?? How about LYLMDWHZZ? Or ROUS? Did someone teach a class on this stuff and I missed it? (Hey, that last one was a nod to Princess Bride!)
-Did you see all the cool Princess Bride stuff they have on hottopic.com??

Kane, shop there for Valentine's day. I take a size 5X! And size XS pants. I'm not proportioned. And oddly, I can only wear men's socks, because mah size 12 feets don't fit into the ladies' gold-toes. (Did that sound like a euphamism??)